Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Crazy & funny news stories
iGrandTheftAuto.com Forums > General > General Discussion
Pages: 1, 2
demon
This topic is for weird, crazy or funny stories from the news or any website.



Woman tells of life without record fingernails.

QUOTE (Sky News)
A great-grandmother whose 34-inch fingernails snapped off in a car crash (.....)



There's a larger picture showing much more in the article.
Freaks. wacko.gif





Burglars break into Dutch jail to steal TVs.
laugh.gif




MORE STRANGE NEWS STORIES
ViceMan
I wonder if the prisoners in the Netherlands get free weed, something to bear in mind if you like that sort of thing.
demon
They was not caught before the article was published. Now you post something funny.
TreeFitty
Daily Rotten. All your strange/gory news.
Marney1
monkeyrape.com

Edit: Sorry this is in General. mellow.gif
Ex-PS Fanboy
Onion News Network.

Enough Said...
demon
I was hoping you would post stories here or link to stories rather than linking to websites and say "go there to find something funny".


@Evangel: I hardly think that is "enough said". wink.gif
Ex-PS Fanboy
QUOTE (demon @ Apr 29 2010, 12:11 PM) *
I was hoping you would post stories here or link to stories rather than linking to websites and say "go there to find something funny".


@Evangel: I hardly think that is "enough said". wink.gif

Very well...



Enough Said.
demon
QUOTE (Evangel @ Apr 29 2010, 12:14 PM) *
QUOTE (demon @ Apr 29 2010, 12:11 PM) *
I was hoping you would post stories here or link to stories rather than linking to websites and say "go there to find something funny".


@Evangel: I hardly think that is "enough said". wink.gif

Very well...



Enough Said.

Lmao this is awesome. laugh.gif
The decapitating Neckbelt and everything... laugh.gif
TreeFitty
Man stabs 28 children at kindergarten in China

apparently not the first time it has happened recently...
Hardcore Ottoman
^Falls under the crazy section. Fuck that.
Massacre
I'm kind of amazed he managed to stab 28 people before anyone tried to stop him. Is an 8-inch knife Chinese Kryptonite or something?
TreeFitty
California man 'beats' Bejeweled 2
demon
QUOTE (TreeFitty @ May 1 2010, 12:17 AM) *

That's awesome. ohmy.gif Funny how people can get seriously hooked on simple games.

The Youtube video on that site is cool, I like the music and the scenery. I post it here.

demon
QUOTE (Marney1 @ May 1 2010, 10:14 AM) *

So the grandmother is not the actual mother of the child. At first I thought she was. scared.gif

That gold coffin looks really nice, but if it's only worth £ 30 000 it can't be much gold in it. But it's valuable enough to tempt grave robbers so they better have some private protected graveyard.
Ex-PS Fanboy
QUOTE (Marney1 @ May 1 2010, 11:14 AM) *

That's the way I want to be buried, purple suit n' all.
Heartless
QUOTE (demon @ May 1 2010, 06:14 PM) *
QUOTE (Marney1 @ May 1 2010, 10:14 AM) *

So the grandmother is not the actual mother of the child. At first I thought she was. scared.gif

That gold coffin looks really nice, but if it's only worth £ 30 000 it can't be much gold in it. But it's valuable enough to tempt grave robbers so they better have some private protected graveyard.


For most modern burials, they fill the hole first with concrete and then dirt.
demon
QUOTE (Darth Talon @ May 3 2010, 06:40 PM) *
QUOTE (demon @ May 1 2010, 06:14 PM) *

That gold coffin looks really nice, but if it's only worth £ 30 000 it can't be much gold in it. But it's valuable enough to tempt grave robbers so they better have some private protected graveyard.


For most modern burials, they fill the hole first with concrete and then dirt.

Concrete? confused1.gif You must be talking about the mafia. unsure.gif And when the mafia bury someone it's usually not official.
demon
QUOTE (demon @ May 1 2010, 08:55 AM) *
QUOTE (TreeFitty @ May 1 2010, 12:17 AM) *

That's awesome. ohmy.gif Funny how people can get seriously hooked on simple games.

The Youtube video on that site is cool, I like the music and the scenery. I post it here.



Here is a pretty good blog article about Mike Leyde who beat Bejeweled 2, and about game achievements in general.

I had forgot about this, it's a good story funny to look back at. smile.gif

demon
Sex stunt disrupted church services

QUOTE
Three demonstrators stripped and simulated sexual activity during special Ascension Day services in the Oslo Cathedral on Thursday. They reportedly were protesting the recent dismissal of an Oslo pastor over his public accounts of his own sexual experiences.

VG reported that the demonstration in the cathedral occurred just as the cathedral’s pastor led a procession up its main aisle. The three naked persons were posed at the alter, “in Adam and Eve position,” Pastor Caroline Haugland-Formoe told VG.

The demonstrators’ reported goal was to show their support for Pastor Einar Gelius, who had to leave his post as pastor for Vålerenga Church in Oslo after he published a book last year called “Sex in the Bible.” In addition to chronicling various references to sex in biblical text, Gelius also reflected on his own sexual behaviour in passages that some church officials equated to pornography.

Read more.

Lmao. People take offense too easily these days.



The same couple as guests on stage at a rock concert a few years ago:
Sex on stage (bare breasts visible). That caused less drama, but afterall it was not in church. XD.png
demon
17-year-old sells his kidney for iPad 2

QUOTE
Apple lovers are known for their somewhat radical devotion to any new products the company introduces, but selling body parts to afford them is definitely something new — and scary. According to Global Times, a youngster in China's Anhui province wanted a new iPad 2 tablet so badly he was willing to part with a kidney to be able to afford it.

Read more.


This morning, my ISP sent me a SMS about a quiz on their website. Participating is free and the prizes are the newest iPads. I don't care because I don't care about any of the nice Apple products. I would not want them even if someone tried to give it to me, and here's someone willing to sell a body part for it.

demon
MI6 attacks al-Qaeda in 'Operation Cupcake'

QUOTE
British intelligence has hacked into an al-Qaeda online magazine and replaced bomb-making instructions with a recipe for cupcakes.

The cyber-warfare operation was launched by MI6 and GCHQ in an attempt to disrupt efforts by al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsular to recruit “lone-wolf” terrorists with a new English-language magazine, the Daily Telegraph understands.

The full story.

MI6 are funny. XD.png
demon
This is what Facebook can do... A teenage Hamburg girl forgot to mark a her 16th birthday party invite as "private". The party was cancelled and her parents hired a security company. Police, some mounted on horses were also in place, but it ended in chaos nevertheless.


Quoting thelocal.de on Jun 04, 2011:

Hundreds of Facebook users crash teen's birthday party

Some 1,500 people showed up outside the house of a Hamburg girl celebrating her 16th birthday on Friday, after she posted an invite on social networking site Facebook but mistakenly listed the party as a public event.

"Unfortunately, she forgot to mark the celebration as private," police spokesman Mirko Streiber told news agency DPA.

The girl, named as Thessa, cancelled the party after 15,000 people RSVP'd to her "sweet sixteen" birthday bash via Facebook.

Police broke up the party at 1:55 am on Saturday morning. More than 100 officers were at the scene. Six revelers were arrested on suspicion of aggravated battery and property damage, but they have since been released.

Thessa opted to celebrate her birthday elsewhere.

Police said some people were injured after they stepped on pieces of broken glass. "Multiple units" were stationed outside the family's house, a spokesman said, and several streets were closed off. The family also hired a private security company.

As the evening wore on, there were isolated incidents of bottles and firecrackers being thrown toward the police.

"There were stones, bottles and fireworks flying, and party guests took apart (people's) front gardens," Streiber said. "Fences were trampled."

Some revelers opted to enjoy the celebrations from garage rooftops on the street.

"If you are not all that familiar with Facebook, in the future you should look closely at the user conditions before you send out invites," Streiber said.

End quote.
demon
30 million liters of drinking water drained because man peed in the reservoir

oregonlive.com.

QUOTE
About 1:30 a.m. Wednesday, water officials say, a 21-year-old Molalla man was caught on camera urinating in one of Portland's uncovered reservoirs -- one that provides water to a majority of Portlanders.

From a gross-out perspective, that's enough to make residents wary of turning on the tap.

What about animals and birds peeing and crapping there? I'm sure they have (or should have) a way to cleanse the water.

Bear Grylls can confirm it is safe to drink concentrated urine. I think it's safe to say that no one would ever notice this man's urine diluted in 30 million liters (7.8 million gallons) of water.


QUOTE
But Chris Wanner, director of operations for the Water Bureau, said he was worried -- though less about the urine than about unknown items thrown into the water by a group of five people who hung around Mount Tabor early Wednesday.

Even so, Portland's five open reservoirs are susceptible to dead rodents, birds or bird poop. Water quality is tested, but reservoirs aren't drained because of dead animals.

"We look at that as part of the business of open reservoirs," Wanner said.

Yeah Mr. Wanner, it seems you are the right man for the job. rolleyes.gif
Marney1
LOLOLOL this thread is fucking hilarious, watching Demon talk to himself is classic.

But seriously Demon, WTF lad?
demon
Hey Marney, I've got an audience. You might not see them, and in fact you are one of them.
Marney1
Ha, you're right there actually. happy.gif
demon
Shit, this topic has 3085 views. I didn't know I was that right in my last post.

Marney1
QUOTE (demon @ Jul 9 2011, 08:28 PM) *
Shit, this topic has 3085 views. I didn't know I was that right in my last post.


Congratulations on your new found forte - talking to yourself.
demon
Nebraska greets:

QUOTE
Turns out, people run faster than hot dogs

Brian Wandzilak is a good sport.

That's about the only explanation for why the Lincoln North Star High School teacher and competitive runner dressed up in a hot dog suit for a five-kilometer jaunt around Haymarket Park on Friday in 90-degree heat.

With a swirl of mustard on his chest and a wiener-shaped hood on his head, Wandzilak used his one-minute head start to finish 83rd out of about 400 runners who competed in the Cornhusker State Games event.

The run, which ended beyond the outfield fence as the Saltdogs took on the Kansas City T-Bones in the background, was more fun than Wandzilak imagined it might be.

Despite dressing up as concession stand fare, Wandzilak said his legs and arms were relatively unrestricted. The hood was the only problem, making breathing a challenge as he circled the stadium's parking lot and ran to and from a nearby park.

Wandzilak finished in just a little more than 26 minutes, about 10 minutes slower than the 41-year-old winner, Ivan Ivanov of Lincoln.

While the North Star economics and government teacher's run was about fun, others were on hand to compete.

Nate Morhardt, 16, came in from Omaha for the race. A cross-country runner at Millard West High School who was an alternate at last year's state meet, Morhardt and a teammate used the run to get in shape for the coming season.

It was Morhardt's first ever road race, and he hoped to finish in 19 minutes. His time of 21:01 was past his goal, but still five minutes ahead of the hot dog and good enough for a top-20 finish.

At about the half-mile point, it became clear any dreams of a hot dog triumph were over. But as runner after runner passed Wandzilak, they greeted him with high-fives and well-wishes.

Except for the guy who yelled, "Ketchup."




Brian Wandzilak, the hot dog, finishes the Cornhusker State Games road race during the Haymarket Dog Chase on Friday, July 22, 2011. (BRYNN ANDERSON/Lincoln Journal Star)
JournalStar.com

lol.

demon
QUOTE
Swede admits home-made atom experiment was 'crazy'

A Swedish man who tried to set up a nuclear reactor in his kitchen at home has admitted his plan was "crazy".

Article: BBC News.

I never thought building a nuclear reactor in my kitchen was dangerous. Actually I never thought of building a nuclear reactor at all. bored.gif


Edit - Photo:


demon
Today I was driving and listened to BBC radio. Then on the news, I heard about a UK soldier who allegedly cut fingers off dead Talibans, to keep them as souvenirs.

I guess most normal people would think that was disgusting and terrible, but I just LOL'd at it. laugh.gif *shrug* unsure.gif

It's on their internet site also:

QUOTE
bbc.co.uk

Soldier allegedly cut fingers off dead Taliban

The Ministry of Defence is investigating claims that a soldier sliced fingers off dead Taliban fighters to keep as souvenirs.

..............


Psy
We need more news updates Demon! Without your posts I have no idea what's going on in the world.
demon
QUOTE (Psy @ Sep 12 2011, 12:03 PM) *
We need more news updates Demon! Without your posts I have no idea what's going on in the world.

I suspect there's some irony somewhere in there. laugh.gif But here is a new one. I have not had anything that was special enough for quite some time.




Be careful around Rusky geniuses.

QUOTE
Russian 'genius' lived with 26 female bodies
msnbc.msn.com


NIZHNY NOVGOROD, Russia — Police have discovered the remains of more than two dozen women who were dug up from their graves by a man some described as a "genius," BNO News reported.

The bodies were found this week in the home of 45-year-old Anatoly Moskvina, who lives alone in the city of Nizhny Novgorod in western Russia. The discovery was made when Moskvina's parents visited him after returning from a vacation.

Russian media reported that Moskvina kept at least 26 bodies in his small, three-room apartment. They all belong to females aged between 15 and 26 who died years ago. The bodies were "dried up," Interfax reported.

Go to the site to get the story.

I'm not smart enough to get 26 females in my house at the same time, so that Russian must have done something right.
Massacre
Why the fuck did they put 'genius' in quotation marks? It wasn't his fucking nickname, the guy literally was a genius. Of course, he was also a loser. I mean, 45 and still living with your parents? Shit.
demon
Agreed on both. lol


It's good you didn't know him, he might have said words about the contents of your basement.
Massacre
Aside from living with his parents, he sounds like a pretty cool guy.
demon
I guess we have all heard about car accidents in Africa where insane numbers of people dies. "VW Beetle drives off cliff, 20 people dead", and similar.

This is a real news story from Nepal, Asia, where a tractor plunged into a canal. 18 people died in the accident.

Eighteen killed in Nepal tractor accident

QUOTE
Kathmandu - Eighteen people were killed in eastern Nepal when a tractor pulling a trailer of passengers plunged into a canal, police said.

The tractor carrying Hindu pilgrims from Dhanusha district was headed to a religious fair when it fell into a canal in Bharaul, Sunsari district.

Police said the accident could have been caused by overcrowding, as nearly 50 people were travelling on the flatbed trailer behind the small tractor.

The victims were 16 women and two men. Twenty-four people were pulled alive from the canal, and had been hospitalised, police said, adding that local residents were helping them look for more survivors.

The Baraha Kshestra Haribodhan Ekadashi fair for Hindus draws hundreds of pilgrims every year.


Could have been caused by overcrowding? No kidding?
In the worst case, 50 people could have died in that accident with a small tractor. Funny shit...

demon
Quoting nypost.com:

Pilot locked in lavatory causes unnecessary terror scare

He was caught with his pants down.

A pilot who accidentally locked himself in the bathroom of his LaGuardia-bound plane caused a terror scare last night when a helpful passenger with an accent tried to come to his rescue by banging on the cockpit door.

The embarrassing comedy of errors began when the captain of a Chatauqua Airlines flight from Asheville, N.Car., decided to take a bathroom break before landing.

But when he tried to get out of the men’s room, the door jammed, trapping him in the tight quarters.

Desperate to get out and land the plane — which was in a holding pattern above the airport — he pounded his fists on the door to attract attention.

A well-intentioned passenger sitting in the front row heard his thumping and hurried over to help.

Relieved, the pilot told the passenger to go to the cockpit and alert the crew to his plight.

But crew members didn’t react well to the unexpected visit from a stranger trying to breach the highly secure area of the plane.

The jittery co-pilot — at the controls and wondering why his boss’ bathroom break was taking forever — thought the unfamiliar accent was Middle Eastern, a source told The Post.

Practically stammering, he quickly radioed air traffic control.

“We are 180 knots 10,000 [feet] uh, can we leave the frequency for a minute? We are going to try to, uh contact dispatch,” he said.

“The captain disappeared in the back, and, uh, I have someone with a thick foreign accent trying to access the cockpit.”

Even after the passenger explained through the door that the captain was locked in the john, the co-pilot was still suspicious.

“What I’m being told is he’s stuck in the lav [lavatory], and, uh, someone with a thick foreign accent is giving me a password to access the cockpit,” he said.

He clearly did not believe the passenger.

“I’m not about to let him in,” the nervous co-pilot told the LaGuardia tower.

The controller, also spooked, advised the pilot to declare an emergency and “just get on the ground.’’

The captain finally extricated himself and told his colleagues all was well.

Before that happened fighter planes were alerted, although they were never scrambled.

When an air traffic controller called to check if “there any level of disturbance on the airplane,” the pilot got on and responded “negative.”

“The captain, myself, went back to the lavatory and the door latch broke and I had to fight my way out of it with my body to get the door open ,” he said.

“There is no issue, no threat.”

The FBI and Port Authority cops met the plane when it landed around 6:30 pm.

A spokesman for Chatauqua — which runs the regional flight under the Delta name — said cops talked to the passenger and quickly realized it was all a misunderstanding.

TreeFitty
Surprised you didn't post about that little Chinese school bus with 60 people crammed into it and killed a bunch of kids.
Marney1
I had no idea he was still posting over here. rolleyes.gif
demon
QUOTE (TreeFitty @ Nov 19 2011, 08:56 AM) *
Surprised you didn't post about that little Chinese school bus with 60 people crammed into it and killed a bunch of kids.

I've not heard about it. But even if I had, I would probably not post it. It's bad enough when it's adult people, but when it is kids it could be too tragic to post in a thread that has a lot of funny stories in it.
demon
Man Arrested for Boosting Butts With Cement, Fix-A-Flat

QUOTE
Florida police on Friday arrested a man suspected of administering dangerous and illegal butt-boosting shots – injecting at least one woman with a cocktail of substances including cement, glue and tire sealant.

And, believe it or not, that man is the person pictured above.

Full story: abcnews.go.com.

They have a mug-shot of the man, and you will not believe he is a male. blink.gif He/she/it looks like a bitch. blink.gif
demon
German gynecologist took secret photos of patients

Quoting monstersandcritics.com:

Schifferstadt, Germany - A German gynaecologist allegedly used a secret camera to photograph naked women while he was examining them according to a police investigation Wednesday.

At least 35,000 digital pictures, believed to depict 3,000 women over the past three years or more, were found during a search of the practice in Schifferstadt in western Germany at the end of August.

Prosecutor Lothar Liebig said the images showed the patients in 'various positions' as the doctor examined their sexual organs. Some images taken since 2008 were close-ups and others showed the complete patient.

A full-scale criminal inquiry requires a formal complaint first from one of the patients. Police announced a special number for patients to phone if they suspected they were victims. If convicted, the 58-year old gynaecologist, who has not been named, faces a fine or a prison term of up to one year.

The doctor's surgery has closed. Police said the doctor had offered no explanation for the images, but had offered to cooperate with the inquiry, explaining which women were in which pictures.
Massacre
Well, yeah. What's the point of becoming a gynecologist if you're not going to take pictures of all the vaginas?
TreeFitty
Yeah that's not really new or unique. That shit happens all the time. Dentists have been caught video taping themselves playing with knocked-out patients.
Massacre
You're an admin. That's weird. I'm used to you being green.

Edit: And yeah, I would diddle my patients.
TreeFitty
I'm not quite used to it yet either... So yeah, now we can run this place like rebels. smile.gif
demon
QUOTE (Massacre @ Nov 21 2011, 11:57 PM) *
Well, yeah. What's the point of becoming a gynecologist if you're not going to take pictures of all the vaginas?

It was just some pictures (okay, it was 35000), it's not like he stole the vaginas and put them in jars with formaldehyde.


QUOTE (TreeFitty @ Nov 22 2011, 12:57 AM) *
Yeah that's not really new or unique. That shit happens all the time. Dentists have been caught video taping themselves playing with knocked-out patients.

Dentists? It's not often that their patients are knocked out.



A Norwegian doctor was recently prosecuted for extorting young girls. He somehow got some pictures of the girls (I'm not sure of the details), then threatened to publish them unless they sent porn pictures to him. He did that to a large number of girls before someone reported him.

This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.