UL Paper Deus (Thats his nickname from here-on)
Ms. Checkov's Early Checkout
Johnny enters the office to see a man sitting at a desk and Ashley sitting in a chair in front of the desk. She looks down in somewhat of a shameful way.
ULD - "Welcome Johnny, ah you two make a good couple you know that? Lowlife felon and a junkie, match made in heaven. Haha! Wait, don't tell me, relationship problems? Oh thats a real shocker, but this isn't a talk show is it?"
JK - "Get to the point please? I really won't be enjoying my time as deadbeat government slave, and I'd like to make sure I spend as little time as possible being one"
ULD - "Oh yeah, you'd rather be a deadbeat slave to a drug dealer or something, yeah real productive. Anyway, I'll get down to the barebones. We have someone in this country who happened to witness something we didn't want them to witness. They took a photo of it, and we really do not want it circulating to the internet."
JK - "What did they witness?"
ULD - "Need to know basis, and you don't need to know. All you need to know is that she is completely oblivious to the importance of the photo she has. Once she goes back to Romania or West Bumblefuckistan, the customs are going to have a field day."
JK - "So if I get this correctly, you want me to kill the bitch, then destroy her camera."
ULD - "You know Johnny, it's precisely that mentality that has you in this position to begin with. If Ms. Checkov simply fell victim to muggers in the crime-ridden Hove Beach area she is obliviously sight-seeing in, and they happened to steal her high end camera.. well wouldn't that be unfortunate?"
JK - "Unfortunate for her, but fortunate for the United States Government."
ULD - "You think I work for the government? You really do have your head up your ass don't you? Alright I'll send a picture to your phone, when you get the camera I want you to bring it here, pronto. Don't catch any police attention because I'm not tarnishing my reputation trying to bail out your kind."
JK - "Can you let Ashley go now? She has nothing to do with this."
ULD - "She could have left from the beginning, but she would face a plethora of drug charges if she did. Plus, I was just about to have a discussion with her about few of her friends, wouldn't you like to talk about that Ashley?"
AB - "Wh.. whatever will get me out of this mess.."
ULD - "Alright Johnny, go do some community service."
-Go to Hove Beach with a Bat or Fists.
-Locate a female sightseer with a camera, this will be Ms. Checkov.
-Mug her, and steal not only her camera but her money to corroborate the claim of a mugging.
-Bring camera directly to UL Paper Building.
Do NOT kill Ms. Checkov
Do not drop the camera in the water or on the street. ULD needs to analyze it. (I'm not sure if you can actually bring the camera into a car, if not just pretend you brought it into the car and have it on you)
Payout: You get to be free on the streets another day. And you have the joy
of working for a mysterious organization. Enjoy.
Johnny enters the office, the same man is sitting at his desk, laughing and on the phone. Johnny takes a seat and waits.
ULD - "Haha! Yeah yeah.. Batons? What the fuck can a baton do to a guy who killed people with his bare hands?... Those flimsy second hand assault rifles they give you jam up every two seconds Jimmy tells me... Look, I'll fix this, don't you worry Warden, I've got a guy right here who can.. I mean will fix this."
He hangs up.
ULD - "Johnny boy, what are your feelings on Capitol Punishment?
JK - "What? Well, I think the punishment should match the crime."
ULD - "What about your punishment for your crimes?"
JK - "I didn't say the 'criminal' couldn't resist. I'm just saying one day we are all going to reap what we sow. Including you."
He claps while laughing sarcastically.
ULD - "Oh that is rich, a morality lesson from a murderer. Beautiful. Alright, I think I'm going to let you off of the hook johnny. I just got one more little task for you."
Johnny crosses his arms and sighs.
JK - "What is it?"
ULD - "I got some friends at Alderney State Penitentiary and they have been trying to petition the government for some funding. It seems they are getting the horse's ass when it comes to weaponry and you know the types that are in there. In fact, you are the type to be in there. And you know if some futz has a gun that jams, you can take advantage. So my close, personal friend the warden realizes the only way to really get funding is for there to be an incident.
Your little escapade only got them stronger walls, which honestly is jack-shit to the determined jail-break artist. What we want is casualties."
JK - "So you expect me to waltz into Alderney State, with a machine gun and just start gunning people down.. and this is supposed to help me get out of the charges I have."
ULD - "Always the smart ass aren't you Johnny. I don't want any of those cops killed do you hear me? The police are going to lock a few of the death row prisoners out in the yard and rec area. Don't make this hard on yourself and take the driving route, just fly a chopper in, shoot a couple of inmates, like maybe four or five.. scratch that, make it six. Then fly away, how hard can it be?"
JK - "You're just trying to get me killed. Will you make sure the cops don't fire at me?"
ULD - "Johnny, if I could walk in, shoot a few inmates and then leave without police shooting me, I wouldn't be having you do it, would I?"
JK - "I'm not making any promises. I'll try to lay out who I can but I'm not going to get myself killed."
ULD - "All you need to be concerned about is the funding. If the incident causes them to get funding for better weaponry than I don't give a hell whether you gave the inmates a lapdance to get it. Speaking of, I have a hooker who is ratting on her pimp on the other line, why don't you go make yourself useful and get started."
ULD picks the phone up.
JK - "Where is the helicopter?"
ULD - "One second Ms. Del Rio Go fucking find one, if you can jack a car you can jack a helicopter, I'm not your mother, I don't need to help you through everything."
Johnny leaves the office, visibly pissed.
-Acquire kevlar vest and weaponry. Rocketlauncher or assault rifle is reccomended.
-Acquire a helicopter (try the helitour area)
-Fly into Alderney State Penitentiary.
-Kill as many prisoners as possible. Minimum is two.
-Leave Alderney State Penitentiary alive and lose wanted level.
-Wait for a call.
Do not kill any police officers.
Kill a minimum of two inmates.
You may bring a friend if it helps (IE Clay or Terry) Any officers they kill won't count because I know this is hard.
Once completed for the "call" please PM me that you completed the mission.