*Manson. and Maggot are fighting over pre-release GTASA*
Pyro: Ok you two. Stop fighting.
Manson: SHE HIT ME!
Flism: This fight is only good if its a 3-way
*Xealos pops out of counter*
Xealos: WHO SAID 3-WAY?! *Xealos pulls out wang and knocks everyone out* Oops...*takes GTASA and leaves*
Pyromethius: *looks at edit button* BAH PYROMETHIUS MAD! PYROMETHIUS WANT EAT! *bashes edit button in*
Masiumi: Ooooh pyromethius so hairy like animal!
*Pyromethius humps Masiumi's leg*
*Pimp and 'Psymethius' warp back*
Pimp: Wow. what a great experience.
Psymethius: Bah! I CARVEMARK EXSCLUSIVE ROCK TABLETS! MARRRR! *carves his name in rock*
McEggy: Ok, what now?
Pimp: I saw it with my very own eyes....
Pimp: I HAVE FOUND FAITH PEOPLE! FAITH IN HUMANITY AS LONG AS WE KNOW IT!
McEggy: WHAT FAITH?!
Pimp: IN MY RECTUM!
*Everyone stares at Pimp with awe*
McEggy: In your...WHAT?!
Pimp: Yes, I have found god in my anus! I saw him when travelling back here. He said: "My child, you shall one day walk my legacy into the brown depths of one's gapping maw!
McEggy: You're an idiot, You experienced a wormhole hallicunation!
Pimp: Ermmm no I didn't.
Psy: Ok, then what did Jesus look like?
Pimp: He looked like Photoman, except he was black...and had a jerry curl.
Photoman: Str8 thuggin' dawg. Ima bout to put a cap on yo mug wit a driveby snapshooting!
McEggy: Great. "Driveby snapshooting". Put another trendish fad to add in the Kickin It Clones.
Viper: *writes it down*
*Switch Designs comes out of the closet*
Switch Designs: I AM LEAVING KICKIN IT!
Switch Designs: *gives out a long lecture about why everyone treats him like shit*
Pyro: Ummm....You were never had a main part.
Switch Designs: SHUT UP! NO one ever appreciated my mods on GTA-SanAndreas! NEVER EVER! *stomps out followed by melodramatic soap opera music*
*Gxp's front porch*
Gxp: Goddamnit, Male escorts half off expired. Why must I miss out on good deals like this?
Fiber: Maybe because you are too busy raving in your room!
Gxp: Hey! Those glowsticks was the only good deal I got...besides the 2 year subscription of Hustler magazine >_>
Fiber: Thats nothing, I missed out on the Innocence Giveaway Sale at Paedo's.
Gxp: Paedo's? Is that some kind of mexican furniture store?
Fiber: Why do you say that?
Gxp: Because everytime I pass that place, I see dirty old men walking their 100 grandsons out to the parking lots. Some get wang-tugs and spankings while employees and other old guys sit and watch like its a fucking spectator show.
Fiber: How dare you diss the weekend parking lot spankings.
Gxp: Yeah but the emphasis on spanking your child in an erotic fashion is so lame to watch. I would rather see two old guys fighting...
*meanwhile at Padeo's*
Old Guy: Aaaah sonny! I won 3...3 purple hearts in dubya-dubya two!
Old Guy2: You were looking at my grandson's ass weren't ya buddy? Thats ma ass to fondle, not yours!
*little kid randomly goes up and kicks Old Guy in the groin*
Old Guy: AAAA MY PROSTATE! *keels over*
Gxp: Ok, what is with you and padeophilia?
Gxp: ANIME?! WTF?!
Fiber: Yeah, all the 20 year old asians look like 12 year olds.
Gxp: ...hmm, never thought of that.
Knuckles: SEIZE THIS MOMENT AND TELL YOUR LOVED ONES! THE WORLD IS A LIE! ONLY DARKNESS IS TRUTH!
Gxp: Ok, campaign signs are bad enough to promote bollocks but this is ridiculous.
Knuckles: Gxp, as of right now. We are heading to a Nuclear Holocaust! Giant wangs will fall from the sky and splooge on you till you suffocate!
*Giant wangs falls from above*
Pedestrian: AHHHH MORNING MISSILE CRISIS! DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!
*Pedestrian gets splooged*
Ped: Aargh! Its sticky!
Gxp: I am going inside...O_o
*que fiendish lighting*
Generic Evil Boss: HA! HA! HA! NO GAME WILL SURPASSED THE OFLC! SEIG HEIL!
People in board room: SEIG HEIL!
*Pasty guy walks in*
Pasty Dude: Uh..sir. The N.A.Z.I party has sued you.
Boss: FOR WHAT?!
PD: For using "Seig Heil". It was copyrighted by the National Alliance of Zealotic Imperialists.
Boss: But wouldn't that be N.A.Z.O.I?
PD: Yes sir, but the Ninja Ass Zapping Of Idaho has already taken that acronym.
Boss: Ninjas? First, Celine Dion, then Bush, now NINJAS?! WHAT KIND OF PLANET IS USA FROM?!
PhatPimp: Amerricka you silly goose!
PD: Actually, sir. Celine Dion was from Canada.
Boss: Those Canadian bastards!
*Icey pops out from table and pegs OFLC boss in the head with dead baby*
Icey: EAT A DEAD BABY BITCH!
OFLC Boss: OK OK OK! Look, we'll go intially as planned on censoring GTASA. Any questions?
Micheal Powell: I do!
Micheal Powell: I am also sueing you.
Boss: What this time?
Micheal Powell: Well sir, the FCC has the patent #ASATG092604 or the "Censor The Shit Out Of Everything" act.
Boss: Which means?
MP: The FCC can be the only group to be an asshole and complain, fine, and censor anything that hurts our children's eyes and everything that is protected under the 1st ammendment.
Boss: So what can we do?
MP: Replace GTASA with Grand Theft Crocodile: Steve Irwin Edition.
Boss: Are you mad? Steve Irwin is the reason why we went into that Austrailan-American War.
MP: What War? We never had a war with anybody O_o
Boss: Oh, you watch it. Sooner or later kamakawzee kangaroos will come out of their holes, invade the USA AND ASSRAPE PRESIDENT BUSH LIVE ON CNN!
*Smoke bomb bursts through room followed by Psy repelling down the window sill*
Psy: I AM MAJOR SIMON WOODY! WE ARE AT WAR PEOPLE! EVACUATE IMMEDIATLY!
Boss: Psy, go back to playing Call Of Duty. You're turning this scene into a borefest.
Psy: I HAVE NO TIME FOR POLITICS! I MUST GO BACK TO THE DEPTHS OF AFRICA AND RETRIEVE MY OLD GRANDDADS WW2 CLOTHES! ONLY THEN I WILL BECOME A TRUE PATRIOT!
Boss: Thats good. Before you go, Turn your caps lock off. Your causing a scene here.
Psy: SORRY SIR! BUT I ACCIDENTLY BROKE MY CAPS LOCK KEY DURING A MISSION IN ninjaAWGA! I WAS TRAPPED AT DAKALAKABAKAMAKASTAKA WHERE I WAS FORCE FED GOAT PENIS AND WAS SODOMIZED BY THE WOOMKAMOOKA TRIBE!
gonetgo: OMG DATS SOME RACIST SHIT RIGHT THURRRRRR!
Psy: TO MY DESTINATION I MUST GO!
Pyro: Goddamnit, Psy. you ruined my skit. Not only did you rudely interrupt a good, cohesive scene, but you're also giving ideas for the Kickin It Clones!
Xealos: Manson, where the fuck is my notepad?
Psy: THERE IS NO TIME FOR WITTY ONE LINERS AND PADEOPHILES! WE MUST GO TO WAR! TO MY PC! *Dives out of window*
Pyro: How can I make this more intresting... I GOT IT! You! Put on this pregnant suit and say its Xealo's baby. You! Whats your name?
Micheal Moore: <---
Pyro: Ok, Mr. pointy arrow with 3 dashes. Ummm, make a big statement about Bush.
Pyro: To piss QDeath off.
MM: Ok.. *Gets out turntables*
Pyro: And you. *points at pale goth kid*
Goth Kid: Yes?
Pyro: Cut yourself up and say life is rough.
Goth Kid: I don't have a razor. I used them all.
Pyro: *hands him a $1.50* Go buy a razorblade pack.
Goth Kid: OK!
Pyro: Wait...this isn't working. Fuck it.
NOW COMING SOON TO DVD! THE SOAP CHANNEL'S HIT SHOW! GTAGAMING!
INCLUDES THE 1ST AND 2ND SEASON! INCLUDE RARE FOOTAGE, INTERVIEWS WITH THE ADMINS PLUS THE SHOCKING NEVER BEFORE SEEN ALTERNATE ENDING OF SWITCH DESIGN'S PARTING! IT WILL LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS!
Switch Designs: Zidane, how could you!
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Kid: Some Days. I feel great...but most days I feel like depressed.
Kid2: But good thing, theres Emotexil. 1 tablet and I am free of preteen angst and high school infatuations.
Kid: Theres so much I can do when im on Emotexil. Now I can sing to the birds and the bees.
Announcer: Emotexil is a non-perscribed drug that coaxes with Psudeo Emo Syndrome. Emotexil is not for everyone. People with long term relationships or use excessive amounts of black makeup shouldn't use Emotexil. Serious side effects may include dry mouth, bleeding, paranoia, insomnia, whiny fits, genital spasms, random STDs, loss of libido, sexual side effects and even death. Minor side effects are generally mild and may include loss of appetite, lack of communication, and frequent masturbation.
Kid2: With Emotexil, I feel like a popular kid again!
Cut Up The Pills, Not The Arms
ON THE NEXT KICKIN IT! More useless commercials to fill in for Pyro's lack of ideas for new scenes! Fiber turns into a cross-dresser, Hostile and his homies gangbang, Switch Designs starts his own soap opera, and....fuck it, ill think of other shit to put in when I get more ideas.