Tonight on MTV! At 8, A special Room Raiders: Polygamy Edition filled with ditzy bimbos and shallow fratboys. And at 8:30, an all new Made.
Kid: I wanna be made into a hardcore hustla!
A suburban white kid wants to become a hustler in the streets of Detroit. And, an all new True Life: I'm A Martyr.
Cashier: Ok, that'll be $33.96
Mr Nice: Alright. *Looks at receipt* YOU FUCKING RIPPED ME OFF! ITS $33.95!
Cashier: Excuse me, sir?
Mr Nice: See! there you go, waving your authority dick around like some blabbering cum bag! OMEGA!
Omega: *in Panty aisle looking through bargain bin* Yes, dear?
Mr Nice: HELP ME TROLL THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CASHIER!
Omega: What did he do?
Mr Nice: His bitchass shortchanged me
Omega: OH HELL NO!
*Omega and Mr. Nice shout random, incoherent obscenities at cashier*
Cashier: Are these guys really calling me a deer fucking dipshit ass goblin cockwhore for no reason?
Mr Nice: Do you know who we are?
Cashier: Collabration of Raging Asinine Super Hicks?
*Omega busts vain in head*
Mr Nice: Careful, Omega. You had 3 anuerisms this month. Anyways, Captain McFuckface, we are CRASH. Community Raping..er Raging Assholes..AH FUCK Omega, what was our acryonym again?
Omega: I could of sworn it was National Association Man Boy Love Association.
Mr Nice: You sphinkterfuck, that's NAMBLA.
Cashier: Look, I know who you are. Community Resources Against Shit Heads.
Mr Nice: Hah, you catch on quick punk. C'mon Omega, we pwned this guy. Let's get back to the forums.
Omega: Right. *stuffs various woman hygenic products in pocket*
Cashier: powned? Damn kids and their internets.
Mech: C'mon Pyro, is this going to work or not?
*Illegal walks by*
Pyro: Watch...*Controls RC car with fake jewelry on the back*
Illegal: AY LOS ABUMOS! FAKE JEWELRY TO SELL AT THE TANQUE VERDE SWAP MEET!
*Sandworm rises from sand and devours illegal*
Mech: Whoa, So these things smell illegals?
Pyro: Not exactly. They hear footsteps from the illegals and come up from the ground to feed. Oh shit, here comes another one.
Mech: This one is full of it...
Pyro: Quiet...*drives another RC car with boxcutter on it*
Illegal: ALLAHKALALA! *picks up RC* *Gets devoured by sandworm*
Mech: What? The sandworm got him good...
Illegal: *inside worm* REPENT PRAISE AL ACKBAR!
*Worm blows up*
Pyro: That wasn't an illegal, it was a damn islamic extremist...
Mech: So? We're fighting the war on terrorism.
Pyro: No, sandworms hate the taste of brown people from the middle east. If one successfully digests one of them, they excrete watery feces into the Arizona water system.
Mech: No wonder the water here tastes like shit...
Pyro: Oh no, that's Janet Napoletano's fault.
Tonight on All My Forums!
Edgecrusher: I am sorry, Fido but you're relationship in this thread is never going to fit.
Fido: You cockwhore! *soap opera slaps Edge*
And...In a revealing twist
P4yn3: I can't believe you are laying me off in CRASH!
Damian: I am sorry but you're just too damn canadian for the job!
P4yn3: HOW COULD YOU! *slaps Damian*
Damian: Why is everyone slapping everyone?
All this and more on the next All My Forums. Only on TNT! WE KNOW FORUM DRAMA!
Icey: Bright Eyes is not music, it's emotestical bullnanny!
Knuckles: Have you even heard of their songs?
Icey: ...No, but I have very good reason to hate them...
Knuckles: Why is that?
Icey: BANDWAGON TIME!!!!!!!!! *bounces around*
Gnick: EMOTION IN MUSIC IS GAY! ITS GAY! ITS GAY!
Ash: No one informed me there's a forum musical going on? Bastards.
Icey: Conor Obrest HAS AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
Knuckles: Look if you are going to smear on Conor's achievements, do it somewhere else. Your turning this place into a house of sad poets.
Conor: Did someone say...HOUSE OF SAD POETS?!
*Knuckles steals car and drives off cliff*
Gnick: You think we killed him?
Icey: Yeah. Now there is no else to bother.
Gnick: We could rant about how the boards are dying...
Icey: True, true.
Nic: Simon, when I said I wanted to go on this vacation, I didn't mean dragging my ass around in a sandy ass desert. It's torture.
Psy: Oh, bloody shut it.
Pyro: *sitting in chair* Dragging your ass around isn't torture, it's living in Arizona.
Psy: What the fuck are you doing here?
Pyro: Sandworms overran the whole state of Arizona so I had to migrate somewhere else that is deserty.
Psy: Oh, it's too much trouble to move to Nevada? or Mexico?
Pyro: Actually, you told me you coming here for vacation so I decided to bother the shit out of you.
Psy: Great, did you tell the retards not to flood my inbox?
Pyro: No. In fact, I announced that your inbox was being used by Jack Thompson.
Pyro: Oh, and Snape killed Dumbledore.
Nic: UNEXPECTED SPOILERS NOOOOOOOO!
Dumbeldore: Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch, I am not dead.
Snape: WHAT?! THIS CAN'T BE!
*Pyro pulls out magnum and shoots Dumbeldore*
Pyro: No, I KILLED DUMBELDORE! Now, will you bastards leave me alone?
NCP: BIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIICYCLE! I LOVE TO RIDE MY BICEEKEL!
Donnie: I hope to god you didn't buy that from a capitalist.
NCP: No, I stole it from some loser kid in a pink jumpsuit...
Kid: DUTCH MAN STOLE MA BIKE!
Donnie: Well, ok. Fair enough. Wait, isn't a poor black dude supposed to steal it?
NCP: Pyro, how the fuck can you be in one place one minute and somewhere else the next?
Pyro: I am a transparent entity capable of shifting through various time lapses and tangible universes through means of loopholes that are in the laws of physics. Oh, and if you're living in the southwest, poor beaners steal your bike, not a black dude. Tootles...*steals NCP's bike and rides off into portal*
NCP: How did YOU get here?
Bain: Pyro says there was a bike here I can steal.
Donnie: But you don't live in the southwest. O_o
Bain: Oh yeah. *shifts into other time portal*
Fiber: Hi, I am Fiber Optikz.
FNG: And I am Jay FNG Philbrook.
Fiber: I thought it was F-ing?
FNG: EFF EN GEE! Anyway, today we have a special treat for you.
Fiber: That's right. It as easy as tying your shoes or building a homemade bomb to kill millions of innocent kids at your school.
FNG: What is it Fiber?
Fiber: The easy method to download porn!
FNG: ...Wait, everyone knows how to download porn O_o
Fiber: Exactly! We are showing Little Jimmy in Idaho that downloading GTA San Andreas' loveable Hot Coffee mod is as easy as downloading porn from the intraweb.
FNG: That's right my heterosexual power mate! Download porn. FREE AND EASY!
Fiber: First thing you have to do is have a internet connection. Second, type in any of your favorite search engines. Click on the "Images" tab. Now type the following words in the search bar:
or any of your favorite pornstars. ITS THAT EASY!
FNG: Yes, and tomorrow we will be discussing on how to get fake I.Ds and even...
*Hilary busts in*
Hilary: Alright, you no good 3rd party hackers. I now have you red-handed. I am going to the press with this. I am even going to push legislation to put you in jail!
FNG: Because we are explaining to the viewers of this awful skit some common sense?
Hilary: *long pause* ...Yes. After I am done with you, I will also be campaigning against instruction manual manufactuers, Adobe and its Photoshop product and The Discovery Channel.
Fiber: Why the Discovery channel?
Hilary: Because it has both the key elements that the Hot Coffee mod had: Boobies and instructions to educate the viewers.
FNG: and Photoshop?
Hilary: ...It teaches little kids how to draw boobies. O_o
*Rockstar Representative bursts in*
R* Rep: ROCKSTAR DENIES ALL INVOLVEMENT WITH ALIEN TECHNOLOGY!
On the next Kickin It. Old whiny politicans celebrate the fate of Rockstar's net loss! CRASH expands their organization to the middle east. Pyro takes on the infamous Jack Thompson in a CSPAN debate (Borrrrring!) and more unexpected movie spoilers!