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Full Version: Best quotes from the game? Forums > GTA4.TV/ Archive > Old Forum Archive (Read Only) > GTA Old Gen > GTA 3D > Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas > GTA: San Andreas PC
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Here's some of mine:

"Hello sir. How may I further degrade myself for you?" Clerk at fast food joint

"Hey! I payed for that you know!!" Stealing car from women in Los Santos

"He won't slow down! Should we slow down??" Military Chopper Radio

I like the first and second ones the most. Lets hear yours.
"I smoke 'coz it gives me knowledge" Random Peds lollercaust
''I'm outta bullets''........''Don't worry i got extra''
"If i shoot him, do i get a medel?"............."You get two"
"shit on a shingle!" - random pedestrian
small smoke
CJ is fat and Talks to michelle and she asks to go to dinner and then he says
"Sure as long as we dont have to walk" "or I'm Hung'y" or
when he steals a car when he's fat he says"Get out of the car before Big Fat Carl Eats u."
Off the WCTR I say you say

"Darling stop eyeing up the producer"
"I already slept with him"
"So did i"
police officers in queens, SF
"Come on, we can hold hands and talk about it!"
"I love you're non polluting method of escape!"

I also quite enjoy hearing what the chopper radio thingies say. Don't remember them off the top of my head but some of them are hilarious.

And the clerk at Cluckin' Bell
"Cockadoodle Cluck. Welcome."
Cracks me up everytime.
the police chopper ones:

heli cop 1: i gonna shoot this guy
heli cop 2: make sure its the right guy thsi time

well stacked pizza guy: do you wanna pizza or what?

those are pretty funny and i will come up with more as i think of them
"This is aerial support..."
"-I think he knows that by now!"
i can see my house from here
- will you please shut up!!

heli police
Get Inda Car HO 69
"steriods make your dick do what??"
Young Escobar
QUOTE (Ruzdur @ Mar 22 2005, 12:43 PM)
"If i shoot him, do i get a medel?"............."You get two"

I like that one too.

Anyway this is a favorites topic. Expect a lock.
girl on radio-
"I can play hermonica and sing at the same time. I just put the hermonica down my pants."
CJ: "I appreciate your input, but PLEASE! FCK OFF!" roll2.gif
during the brifing for the casino heist missions, I think its the one where u get the cop MBikes.. thumbup.gif
in the country one of the hicks says " boy i love me some pig ass" ansd at the burger stack in ventturas by millies house the lady always says sluuurp my burger sir and the cluckin bell guy always says cluckity fuck hilarious good times
"I've decided to get breast implants!" - Maccer
I love that Dungeons and Dragons parody commercial....

"Caverns of Sorrow!"

Those two kids....

"You can't kill me.... Im invisible!"
"I've got invisible seeing glasses, DUMBASS!" laugh.gif

Inbetween tunes on K-Rose, the country station, you might hear how Ann-Marie was born..... on a pool table.... and they didnt stop the game.... biggrin.gif laugh.gif biggrin.gif
"keep your undies clean and comfy" random ped in SF laugh.gif
another one is during a convo some guy says:

"go stick your head down a drain"
"i just sold my toilet seat"
Stan Petrov
"Damn,that nigga fucked up" - CJ on Sindacco

"What? Your shit don't stink?!" - random ped
"don't choke on the bone fragments." - clerk at cluckin' bell
"cluckity-fuck." - clerk at cluckin' bell
"thin crust or sweaty crust-- your choice, sir." - clerk at pizza stack
"you madd doggin' me, man." - random ped
"oh... my heart." - random ped

I have a lot more. If I can think of anymore I'll post them.
"Have you seen this year's Buffalo?"- Random Ped.
smash yo branze all over the patio-big smoke
"I once got a condom stuck on my face." - Carl in cut scene to Wu Zi Mu.

"What could have more mass appeal than a song like small but perfectly formed?" - Midget to Woozie and Carl.

"Express yourself, cause I'm from Grove Street." - Carl, when left alone for too long.

"I'll have a number nine, a number nine large, a number ten with special sauce, two number forty-fives....." - Big Smoke to Clucking Bell drive-thru.

"Would the owner of the alien culture in the diagnostics laboratory kindly remove it." - Tannoy in Area 69.

"I don't want a nightstick up my ass." - Carl, when being chased by a police officer.
Katie while on a date

"OG Loc? More like OG Joke"

Midget during "a home in the hills" cutscene

"Don't hate the little man coz he's packin a 6 shooter"

I deliberately threw the mission about 10 time just to watch it again


"Inbreeding makes you dumn huh"
if you want blood
when Johnny takes a heartattack and falls out of the wheelchair,CJ says"damn that nigger fucked up"
Just about anything Hans on SFUR says, The stuff the Truth goes on about when you drive him places and what CJ says when Sindacco has a heart attack
no favourite topics.
Laslow: Oglock, how are ya'?
OG Loc: Oglock'!? It's OG Loc! OG Loc! Ya' hear me, playa'?
Lazlow: Yes, of course, I hear you. You're only a few feet away, man.
Policd cops:

cop 1: "Shoot him!"
cop 2: "No, I am a pacifist"
cop 1: "Just make a fucking shooting!"

WTCR script

Jack: "Do something! Touch 'em-touch 'em or die! They're still big!"
Billy: "Oh...God...they're huge Jack."
Jack: "That's right!"
Billy: "Yeah, yeah, Mom! Mommy!"
Jack: "Easy, hey, don't grab them like that, oh boy, I was kidding. What are
you, a boyfriend of mine or something?" *begins laughing*
Billy: "You had me scared there for a minute, I-I-I-I crapped myself."
Jack: "Take it easy, it's not even loaded."
Jack: "Oh! Oh, Dex! Oh, shit! Oh, well I guess it was, oh, OK, Billy, don't
kid around, get up boy! Get up, come on! Damn it! His brain is leaking!
Help! Oh, there's only one thing to do-I gotta defend freedom! No time
to cry, only time to die! *three gunshots* Welcome to the land of
freedom, bitches!! *shots fired rapidly, glass breaking* Yaaaaaaaaahh!"
"I grow my own religeon."
Ped in Kangol: "The liverwurst was green... but I ate it anyway."

KROSE: "That's why we have pharma-ceuticals, silly!"

CJ picks up cash: "I like to share too, thanks!"

Remember that one?

Hola m'hijo! Ooh! What a strong pecho! Ever had half-n-half with a sucia like me?
I'll do things your ruca won't.

tell me which mission it was. maybe we can turn this topic into a quiz and it wont get locked...
first jizzy mission maybe?

This is some soggy endo.
In the water when cops are after you.

Your not a fucking fish!
"cough up el weedo before i blow your brains all over the patio" -BS

or somethin like that
Sweet: You're dressed like a hooker!
Kendl: You two would know what a hooker looks like.
Carl Johnson: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Kendl and Sweet: Shut up Carl!

I love that scene man!!!!
QUOTE (-La-RaZa- @ Mar 23 2005, 06:37 PM)
"cough up el weedo before i blow your brains all over the patio" -BS

or somethin like that

That ones great.
I had a ped walk past once and go "Argh! I sprained my scrotum!"
Made me laugh smile.gif

helecopterman-stop perving on the girl and shoot the damn bastard

random street guy-i triped on my lase i cauld of died *sobs*

i got more but i cant remeber them i gota play the game then like write them down
CJ to BSmoke on first mission- "What fucking book?"

Toreno to CJ on VTOL mission - "What thing? What are ya talking about? What thing? You stole it!"

Some dude on the Home of the hills mission - "We musn't lose our heads" *GETS SHOT IN THE HEAD*

Random Ped - I soiled my self.

CJ to car salesman on test drive mission "You can help us by helping some other mutha fucka"

Can't think of any more.
Young Escobar
QUOTE (Toge @ Mar 23 2005, 07:18 AM)
Laslow: Oglock, how are ya'?
OG Loc: Oglock'!? It's OG Loc! OG Loc! Ya' hear me, playa'?
Lazlow: Yes, of course, I hear you. You're only a few feet away, man.

I like that one too.
Some of my all-times favourites:


All you little men are scared of strong women!
If we're passionate you say we're crazy.
If we're upset you say we're hysterical.
We sleep with men, we're sluts.
If we don't put out we're frigid bitches.

You can't stand the heat, go put your tiny balls in the freezer!
Tiny balls? Now just wait a minute...

If you was the last bitch on earth
I'd start going out with an animal.
You're too fucking loco, senorita.

You look as pale as a drowned baby, man!
Oh God, I think I'm going to chuck!
P. what you need is some food down ya. (Paul nearly vomits)
A fried egg sanger with mayonnaise will sort it. (Paul nearly vomits again)
Or what about a pickled egg?
Pull over, NOW! Shhi- huuuurghhh -hit! I've go- huuurrrgghh! Got the- Hhhuurrgghh!
Dry- hurgh! Dry- hurgh! Dry heavies... Oh... Oh, I think it... I think it's passed.
How about a pint of cod liver oil, that'll well sort ya.
(Paul vomiting violently)
Leave him alone, man!
Hey, hey, the good doctor was just tryin' to help!
Paul:Fuh-huh-Fuck off!

" Home Sexual re-alignment kit! You can go from Brenda To Brad In Minutes!"<Not exact but u know what i mean...

ph34r.gif yensed ph34r.gif
The Nemesís
"Damn , That nigga fucked up" <- Carl to johnny
"Im too hip i gotta go" <- Toreno in Stowaway
"ShitCockBastardHead" <- indian ped
"My ass is stinking" <- indian ped
"Oh Maggie!" <- Maccer
there are so many more!
man, that shit was intense.
that shit was shit.

Just feel the weight of the weapon, sweetheart.
I can feel the weight of someone's weapon!

What kind of tits does this Rosie have? Big, floppy sausage tits?
Empty saddlebags? Or bee stings?
Rosie's a man! And stop touching yourself!

tommy vercetti:u prick
Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith: "You're on the dust people, try not to shit your pants."

Derek Thackery: "It's distracting us from our primal urges to anhilate and hospitalise complete strangers in a sweaty psychotic frenzy [laughs]... then ya bang a bimbo on the sidelines."

(Caller on lonely hearts) "My mistress just got her period."
Fernando: "I love that day."
clukin bell dude ``cluck fuk wat do u want``
cj wen falling ``i hate gravity``
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