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> Assassin's Creed II, help/hints/chatter...
bOnEs
post Nov 19 2009, 10:49 PM
Post #41


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naw, with full notoriety, killing a corrupt official clears the meter completely... at least i think it does... i recall taking down a poster before i killed one a couple of times... i'd start to find posters, then spot an official on the map nearby and go after him instead... so i am not sure if killing one and taking down a poster is what is clearing my notoriety or if just killing him does the trick... i'll investigate tonight because, i am sure i'll become notorious a couple more times before i leave florence biggrin.gif...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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PabloHoneyOle
post Nov 19 2009, 10:54 PM
Post #42


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Yeah, there is some formula - it is presented in game; but I didn't write it down. I'll try and pay attention when I'm doing notoriety-based events.

I'm fucking out of here. Headed back to Florence.
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bOnEs
post Nov 19 2009, 11:45 PM
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yea me too... i'm fucking out of this place in 15 minutes... i need to get out of this fantasy world and get back to reality in florence...

This post has been edited by bOnEs: Nov 19 2009, 11:45 PM


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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PabloHoneyOle
post Nov 20 2009, 04:07 PM
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Not to say I told you so, but killing the official takes away 75% notoriety.

I ended up going home and crashing; slept from 6-9; went and played poker; didn't get home until 2:30AM... but I had to boot up that Assassin's Creed before I called it a night. I didn't get into anything that really consisted of mission structure. Just a quick visit to Leonardo for a deadly upgrade on my blade and some treasure hunting in Florence. I also went back to the Villa to complete some expensive "special moves" weapons training which unlocked a couple nifty moves for throwing knives; two handed weapons and long weapons. After that; I went to Tuscany to start the next mission; but after getting sidetracked with an assassination side mission given to me by an informative pigeon; I decided to call it a night.

Side note: I got pretty used to the wheel after getting my most recent blade upgrade. It's not that bad once you get the hang of it.
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bOnEs
post Nov 20 2009, 04:44 PM
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the fact that it pauses the action, helps out a lot when selecting a weapon...

yea, your right on the notoriety stuff... tested all of them last night...

man, i went home to look for those couriers because, i needed some quick easy cash to invest into my villa... i must of killed a dozen of them last night... it seemed like every 5 minutes another one ran pass me laugh.gif... they are tough mother fuckers to catch too... i had to let a few of them go...

i got the dual hidden blade last night and learned some new assassination techniques... but, i didn't do much more than that as far as main missions go... went into my first assassin's tomb too... that was pretty fun, got to test out some of my new hidden assassination techniques inside there... killing and throwing an enemy from a ledge is super cool biggrin.gif...

but, i focused more on side stuff last night... i upgraded my villa... got all businesses to level 2 and restored all the other items... i'm bringing in 6000f every 20 minutes right now... bought a few weapons and the big medicine pouch... and changed my garb to "tuscan copper"... i didn't buy the mauler but, bought most of everything else thats available at this time in the game...

i beat up a boyfriend, delivered some letters, found all codex's in florence, climbed all eagle towers, and something else... there's nothing left to do in florence now... just missions and another tomb to check out...

i've collected roughly 30% of the trophies now... i like games where every 10 minutes, you unlock another trophy thru your actions... i think i could easily get the platinum trophy in my first play-through... everything unlocks through your actions in game... there's no "beat on hard", "beat on impossible" or anything else that requires another play... even if i get the platinum, i'm still playing this game again biggrin.gif...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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PabloHoneyOle
post Nov 20 2009, 05:01 PM
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Have you started collecting treasure chests? The art dealers sell the maps for them. They add up quick; also distract you while you're building your bank roll back at the Villa. I tried to wait out 20 minutes - just to get the money I needed for the Special Weapons training and that was ridiculous. I tried doing some chores and stuff around my house; came back - still no money. Goes by much faster if you're occupying yourself with something in the game. Also, while searching for most of the treasure chests is when you come across most of the couriers. I'm kind of surprised how MANY there are. I've killed many of them back-to-back; chase one and loot him - just to have another go running right past me.

I agree about the achievement/trophies. These are a very satisfying selection; a mere extension of the unbelievably satisfying gameplay AC2 provides.

This is DEFINITELY my GOTY.
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Massacre
post Nov 20 2009, 05:40 PM
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Fallout topic's dead... Think I'll buy this to fit in.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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PabloHoneyOle
post Nov 20 2009, 05:45 PM
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QUOTE (Massacre @ Nov 20 2009, 12:40 PM) *
Fallout topic's dead... Think I'll buy this to fit in.

I think you'll really like it. Synch needs to get this shit too.
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Massacre
post Nov 20 2009, 05:56 PM
Post #49


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Okay, I have people to avoid during the holidays, this'll help me along.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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bOnEs
post Nov 20 2009, 06:00 PM
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then it'll be like old times biggrin.gif...

@stoic - i haven't bought a treasure map yet... i keep forgetting about those things... is it a good payoff??


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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Massacre
post Nov 20 2009, 06:04 PM
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So, you guys briefly mentioned dyes in the game... There's black dye, right? It's important to me.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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GLC
post Nov 20 2009, 06:13 PM
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Got this earlier today. Fuckin' awesome. I haven't got too far yet and have just met uncle mario (I lol'd btw). I'll play it properly later tonight.

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bOnEs
post Nov 20 2009, 06:41 PM
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QUOTE (Massacre @ Nov 20 2009, 01:04 PM) *
So, you guys briefly mentioned dyes in the game... There's black dye, right? It's important to me.

trophy/achievement: Tint your clothes with those colors: Wetland Ebony and Wetland Ivory.

wetland ebony? perhaps that's what your looking for? i'm not far enough in the game to see what those dyes look like...

QUOTE (GLC @ Nov 20 2009, 01:13 PM) *
Got this earlier today. Fuckin' awesome. I haven't got too far yet and have just met uncle mario (I lol'd btw). I'll play it properly later tonight.

your just getting to the good stuff biggrin.gif... anticipate gameplay techniques and side stuff to double at this point laugh.gif...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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Massacre
post Nov 20 2009, 06:51 PM
Post #54


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QUOTE (bOnEs @ Nov 20 2009, 01:41 PM) *
QUOTE (Massacre @ Nov 20 2009, 01:04 PM) *
So, you guys briefly mentioned dyes in the game... There's black dye, right? It's important to me.

trophy/achievement: Tint your clothes with those colors: Wetland Ebony and Wetland Ivory.

wetland ebony? perhaps that's what your looking for? i'm not far enough in the game to see what those dyes look like...

Awesome. That should satisfy my metrosexual obsession with in-game clothing.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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DuPz0r
post Nov 20 2009, 07:33 PM
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I'm picking this up tomorrow so i can start discussing it with you guys!


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bOnEs
post Nov 20 2009, 07:47 PM
Post #56


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wow, since MW2 was soooo easy and fast to beat, gamers looking for something with more substance are looking into ACII now biggrin.gif... you'll enjoy it dup... if you've played and enjoyed the first one (or even thought it was OK), you'll find the second one to be 10x better!! seriously, these past three days have gone by so fast because, i lose track of how much time passes when playing... it seems like whenever i looked at the clock, it was damn near bedtime already laugh.gif...

EDIT:
check this link out...

http://www.gamestats.com/objects/143/14302...es.html#reviews

that's most of the reviews that have been accumulated over the past few days... it's averaging a 9... i think the first one averaged an 8... so, the new one is being hailed a vast improvement over it's predecessor... it's food for thought, just in case anyone needed more motivation to get this biggrin.gif... basically, if you liked the first one, you'll love the second one laugh.gif...

This post has been edited by bOnEs: Nov 20 2009, 07:54 PM


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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DuPz0r
post Nov 21 2009, 04:05 PM
Post #57


Still Standing
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Is it just me or does the voice actor for Desmond (AC2) sound exactly the same as the voice actor for Nate "Drake" Nolan from Uncharted?
I'm pretty sure it is him. I'll have to look in to it. Every time he talks now i just think of Uncharted 2 XD.png

And the women sounds like the girl who was on Uncharted 1 &2 as well...!

This post has been edited by DuPz0r: Nov 21 2009, 04:10 PM


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The Awesome One
post Nov 21 2009, 09:28 PM
Post #58


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I reckon I will pick this up soon, sounds real good. Just gotta finish with L4D2 first.


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GLC
post Nov 21 2009, 10:05 PM
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Anus.
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QUOTE (bOnEs @ Nov 20 2009, 07:47 PM) *
seriously, these past three days have gone by so fast because, i lose track of how much time passes when playing... it seems like whenever i looked at the clock, it was damn near bedtime already laugh.gif...


Indeed. I started playing this about 1pm today and by time I was done it was getting dark. I was like "WTF" because it felt no more than 2 hours...ph34r.gif

This post has been edited by GLC: Nov 21 2009, 10:05 PM
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bOnEs
post Nov 22 2009, 04:50 PM
Post #60


doesn't play well with others...
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QUOTE (DuPz0r @ Nov 21 2009, 11:05 AM) *
Is it just me or does the voice actor for Desmond (AC2) sound exactly the same as the voice actor for Nate "Drake" Nolan from Uncharted?

yea, i think it's the same guy... he sounds more like tony montana from scarface though... that's what i hear every time he opens his mouth... it makes me want to add "mang" to the end of all of his dialog laugh.gif...


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QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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