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Fran
post Mar 30 2008, 06:18 PM
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QUOTE(Pieface @ Mar 12 2008, 12:10 AM) [snapback]1398592[/snapback]
I just lost at Hangman
Didn't know the place name
_____
| |
| O
| /I\
| / \
|-----------

B R _ D G _ _ D



For the british wink.gif



i showed you that ohmy.gif


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Kronoz
post Mar 30 2008, 07:19 PM
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Celine Dion walks in to bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?"


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Sharpie Fetish
post Mar 30 2008, 08:02 PM
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Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs
and get me slippers?"


"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's
two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.

"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."

"Fook off you liar!"

"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"



"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
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jdid112
post Mar 31 2008, 12:13 AM
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Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional.

"Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!"

Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!"

When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?"

"Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!"

Meh.



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BASE-RACE
post Apr 1 2008, 08:41 AM
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Woman finds out that for 25 years the husband had used a dildo on her,
she confronted her husband and said: "explain the dildo fool!"
to which the husband replied: "explain the Kids Bitch!"
scared.gif
Two blondes are staring at the moon
blonde one asks her friend: Hey Whats closer? Austrailia or the Moon?
second blonde replies: The Moon!
Blonde One then asks: Why do you say that?
Blonde two Replies: Well go Figure you can see the moon.
stupid.gif

Robber: FREEZE THIS IS A FUCK-UP!
Cashier: Dont you mean hold up?
Robber: Nah i forgot my gun....


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neko_ceko
post Apr 1 2008, 06:10 PM
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Do you know what is woman doing with blank peace of paper?
She is reading her rights
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Deji
post Apr 1 2008, 06:23 PM
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[sarcasm] that vid was soooo funny [/sarcasm]

Police find a man in a bodybag burried 10 feet under the ground with gunshot wounds, stab wounds, beatings, no feet and a rope around neck. Police think it's suicide.

dam cant remember the other one!

This post has been edited by Deji: Apr 1 2008, 06:35 PM


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Obama
post Apr 1 2008, 08:22 PM
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QUOTE(neko_ceko @ Apr 1 2008, 06:10 PM) [snapback]1404133[/snapback]
Do you know what is woman doing with blank peace of paper?
She is reading her rights

XD.png
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Sharpie Fetish
post Apr 7 2008, 08:31 PM
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whats not different between Shannon Matthews and a porno magazine

they both get wanked to and stuffed under the bed
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Pez
post May 11 2008, 05:35 PM
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pwned! XD.png

joke:
i bought my girlfriend a handbag and a dildo if she dont like the handbag she can go fuk herself! smile.gif


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Nec
post May 12 2008, 04:23 AM
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Found by OptimumPx:



roll2.gif


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Obama
post Jun 16 2008, 01:54 PM
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something my grandpa said to my uncle the other day.

well my uncle has a Thai wife and my grandpa asked him if he was gonna buy her family a motorcycle LOL
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GLC
post Jul 13 2008, 10:26 AM
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one day a man walked into a hotel.

"excuse me,"he said."have you got any empty rooms?"
"yes we do"said the woman,"we have one room left,though i must warn you many people have entered that room and left screaming.They say it is haunted by a ghost."
"yeah,right.i'll take a look. As the man entered the room he heard the ghost moan,"i'm gonna eat your arms,your legs,your head and your body!"The man ran away screaming.

A few days later another man came to the hotel.there was still only one room left and he was forced to stay in the haunted room.the woman tried to warn him,but he didn't listen.He opened the door........."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" the man ran away and never came back.

a week later another man came to stay.again,there was only that room free and was forced to stay there. this time the woman didn't bother warning him because she was tired of people not listening to her. So,as the next man opened the door the ghost moaned again,"IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" This scared the man,but he didnt run away."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" The man noticed the noise getting louder as he got closer to the cupboard in the corner. The man stood in front of it."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!"Slowly he opened the cupboard door........











There,sat in the corner of the cupboard,was a three-year-old eating jellybabies.

This post has been edited by G~L~C: Jul 13 2008, 10:28 AM
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neko_ceko
post Jul 13 2008, 12:33 PM
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QUOTE(G~L~C @ Jul 13 2008, 12:26 PM) [snapback]1454386[/snapback]
one day a man walked into a hotel.

"excuse me,"he said."have you got any empty rooms?"
"yes we do"said the woman,"we have one room left,though i must warn you many people have entered that room and left screaming.They say it is haunted by a ghost."
"yeah,right.i'll take a look. As the man entered the room he heard the ghost moan,"i'm gonna eat your arms,your legs,your head and your body!"The man ran away screaming.

A few days later another man came to the hotel.there was still only one room left and he was forced to stay in the haunted room.the woman tried to warn him,but he didn't listen.He opened the door........."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" the man ran away and never came back.

a week later another man came to stay.again,there was only that room free and was forced to stay there. this time the woman didn't bother warning him because she was tired of people not listening to her. So,as the next man opened the door the ghost moaned again,"IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" This scared the man,but he didnt run away."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" The man noticed the noise getting louder as he got closer to the cupboard in the corner. The man stood in front of it."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!"Slowly he opened the cupboard door........











There,sat in the corner of the cupboard,was a three-year-old eating jellybabies.

LOL
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GLC
post Jul 13 2008, 05:24 PM
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heres some more funnies but not jokes,challenges.Challenges not to grin at these video's.
Some are a bit stupid,but still...


[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NSDuj6ibyds&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NSDuj6ibyds&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s6sKK2cY9Q&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s6sKK2cY9Q&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/v4pWswDOJTk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v4pWswDOJTk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Fitxofd7kOA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Fitxofd7kOA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

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shootthebandit
post Jul 13 2008, 06:40 PM
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you may have heard this one before but still good:

a rich man and a poor man are talking about what they got theyre wifes for christmas.

the rich man says: "i got my wife a diamond ring and a new BMW, that way if she doesnt like the ring she can drive down to the jewelers in her BMW and excahnge it for another one".

the poor man replies: "i got my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo, that way if she doesnt like the slippers she can go fuck herself"
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GLC
post Jul 14 2008, 03:26 PM
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raided youtube for some more entertainment and found these two......


[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xIDnf1nAKic&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xIDnf1nAKic&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6dp-u0RUgqw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6dp-u0RUgqw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]
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neko_ceko
post Jul 14 2008, 06:12 PM
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lol @ the first one
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Obama
post Jul 17 2008, 01:24 PM
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dont know if this counts as a joke but today at work my uncle (whom i work with) got word that this fucker that works with us has been saying he is gonna shoot my uncle ETC. so me my uncle and some other guys are talking about this guy then he comes over. hes drinking a bottle of beer. and he leaves it lying around and walks off. so my uncle grabbed the beer bottle and put the mouth part on his asshole and balls and shit. and then the shit talker came back and started drinking the beer XD.png.
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BULLETZ144
post Aug 27 2008, 06:07 PM
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the fact this topics still up after all these years makes me laugh.


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