IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

> Make Me Laugh
Bluntman & C...
post Sep 28 2004, 06:45 PM
Post #1


Upstanding Citizen


Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: 25-August 04
From: West Central Florida, USA
Member No.: 1,164



That's right folks, a brand spanking new joke topic! So come on by for your daily dose of funnies...

QUOTE
Q: In the movie, "Lord of the Rings" why does the Ring of Power glow?
A: Because it gets fingered by the Hobbit.

QUOTE
Q: What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?
A: The way they say ahhhh-men.

QUOTE
A man walked into an ice cream shop...

Man: I'd like some chocolate ice cream.

Scooper: I'm sorry sir, but we're out of chocolate. Would you like something else?

Man: Yes, I'd like some chocolate ice cream.

Scooper: I'm sorry, but we don't have that. Would you like to try a different flavor?

Man: Um... yes. I'd like some chocolate ice cream.

Scooper: We don't have that. How about a different kind of ice cream?

Man: I'll have some chocolate ice cream.

Scooper: Look, Mister, can you spell the “van” in vanilla?

Man: V-A-N.
Scooper: Can you spell the “straw” in strawberry?

Man: S-T-R-A-W.

Scooper: Can you spell the “fuck” in chocolate?

Man: But there is no “fuck” in chocolate!

Scooper: That's what I've been trying to tell you!

QUOTE
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do."

So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?"

The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venom."

Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"

Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"

QUOTE
Q: What does Britney Spears and pepsi have in common?
A: They both come with plastic jugs!

QUOTE
Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed one girl leaned over and whispered to her friend, "What should I do? The guy sitting next to me is masturbating."

Her friend replied, "Don't do anything. Just ignore it."

The first girl said, "I can't."

Her friend, "Why can't you ignore it?"

The first one says, "Because he's using my hand!"


--------------------
IPB Image
Achievements
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Posts in this topic
- Bluntman & Chronic   Make Me Laugh   Sep 28 2004, 06:45 PM
- - DuffMan   QUOTE A barman was celebrating a re-decoration in...   Sep 28 2004, 07:05 PM
- - Zacko   LMAO great...   Sep 28 2004, 08:14 PM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE If a light sleeper can't sleep with a li...   Sep 28 2004, 08:26 PM
- - Edgecrusher   QUOTE "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Ye...   Sep 28 2004, 08:34 PM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a ...   Oct 1 2004, 07:24 PM
- - DJ-Invert   QUOTE What Did The Farmer Who Lost His Sheep Say? ...   Oct 3 2004, 04:15 PM
- - mcchicken89   roflmao, that was the best joke eva! Why did...   Oct 4 2004, 02:13 AM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE     A Frenchman, an Englishman and...   Oct 4 2004, 04:06 PM
- - DJ-Invert   Why Did The Alien Cry? Because He Burnt His Toast   Oct 6 2004, 07:16 PM
- - mello_yello   QUOTE Nancy and George both lived in the old folks...   Oct 9 2004, 03:54 AM
- - BigBirdIsPunk   heres a good one QUOTE why'd the chicken cross...   Oct 11 2004, 06:46 AM
- - Catnip   QUOTE Q. What does the cannibal do just after he d...   Oct 11 2004, 11:10 AM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE (catnip @ Oct 11 2004, 08:10 AM) QUOTE Q. Wh...   Oct 11 2004, 12:23 PM
- - Retardo   Whats the difference between Gill Dandow and Daz??...   Oct 11 2004, 04:22 PM
- - Franny   this just happened to me one of those telesales ...   Oct 11 2004, 04:43 PM
- - DuffMan   QUOTE (franny @ Oct 11 2004, 05:43 PM) this j...   Oct 11 2004, 05:32 PM
- - Franny   i started laughing today when someone said underco...   Oct 11 2004, 06:12 PM
- - Mr. Thunderfield   QUOTE A man came to a doctor, with a golf club aro...   Oct 11 2004, 06:40 PM
- - Catnip   QUOTE A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Protestant Minister...   Oct 12 2004, 11:43 AM
- - BULLETZ144   Why did the boy fall of the bike? because some on...   Oct 12 2004, 12:07 PM
- - chicago   heres a riddle one day a boy comes to a house his ...   Oct 13 2004, 12:03 AM
- - BigBirdIsPunk   A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, abo...   Oct 13 2004, 01:35 AM
- - Edgecrusher   QUOTE (Retardo @ Oct 11 2004, 05:22 PM) Whats the ...   Oct 13 2004, 03:21 AM
- - Blitz   QUOTE (Retardo @ Oct 11 2004, 05:22 PM) Whats the ...   Oct 14 2004, 06:39 AM
- - Cyrill   this is my alltime favourite joke, its a bit long ...   Oct 15 2004, 12:29 PM
- - bobert   what is the similarity between michael jackson and...   Oct 15 2004, 12:38 PM
- - 7halo   QUOTE like the one about the jews someone said abo...   Oct 15 2004, 12:50 PM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE (7halo @ Oct 15 2004, 09:50 AM) QUOTE like t...   Oct 15 2004, 01:33 PM
- - Cyrill   Q: y do the navy use liquid soap? A: it takes lo...   Oct 15 2004, 02:01 PM
- - Bluntman & Chronic   QUOTE (Cyrill @ Oct 15 2004, 11:01 AM) Q: y do the...   Oct 15 2004, 03:41 PM
- - Shinedown_32327   QUOTE 2 neighbor kids, a little boy, Jonny, and a ...   Oct 15 2004, 05:34 PM
- - DuffMan   What is long, hard, and sticks so far out of a man...   Oct 15 2004, 06:33 PM
- - tonycorleone   man some funny shit in here. of course some funnie...   Oct 15 2004, 07:03 PM
- - Jayzamann   QUOTE Three men were standing in line to get into ...   Oct 16 2004, 05:48 AM
- - deko   QUOTE What do you call a blonde standing on her he...   Oct 16 2004, 10:12 PM
- - deko   QUOTE Clem pulled over the car by the side of the ...   Oct 16 2004, 10:14 PM
- - thefirm   A teenagers girlfreind visits his house, unfortuna...   Oct 16 2004, 10:55 PM
- - I/O   QUOTE (deko7291 @ Oct 16 2004, 03:14 PM) QUOTE Cle...   Oct 19 2004, 05:56 AM
- - DuffMan   this aint a j/k but is my new laugh: LOMFGTISFIAL...   Oct 19 2004, 05:06 PM
- - Filthy-Rich   Q: What do you do if a redneck throws a grenade at...   Oct 19 2004, 07:31 PM
- - Blitz   Wats long had and full of semen A Submarine ----...   Oct 19 2004, 07:49 PM
- - Jammerick   A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing ...   Oct 19 2004, 08:06 PM
- - jimmeh   this is more of a saying: 'Beer: Helping Ugly...   Oct 19 2004, 08:14 PM
- - Blitz   omg i no that one but i tell it beteer with mo...   Oct 19 2004, 08:20 PM
- - I/O   LoL I just heard this one today: How many kids wi...   Oct 19 2004, 11:59 PM
- - Destruction-Overdrive   they got a new system of sizes for condoms they a...   Oct 21 2004, 01:13 AM
- - I/O   QUOTE (Destruction-Overdrive @ Oct 20 2004, 06:13 ...   Oct 21 2004, 02:05 PM
- - Pitbull   A man walks into a bar! _________THE END_____...   Oct 26 2004, 04:48 PM
- - Geenie   3 queers walk into a bar, there only one stool, wh...   Oct 26 2004, 04:49 PM
- - Franny   imagine a dancing bear in a blue hat ha haha haha...   Nov 4 2004, 08:20 PM
- - Indian-Gangsta   what do you do if a retarded blond throws a grenad...   Nov 4 2004, 08:50 PM
- - mrMISDEMEANOR   read the 2nd thing in my sig   Nov 4 2004, 10:52 PM
- - jake_snoogins   Q-Whats the difference between a mesquito and a bl...   Nov 7 2004, 05:37 PM
- - Blak Majik   A black guy, a Mexican and an Arab all jump off a ...   Nov 9 2004, 09:29 AM
- - Catnip   QUOTE (Geenie @ Oct 27 2004, 03:49 AM) 3 queers wa...   Nov 11 2004, 05:58 AM
- - Papa Lazarou   2 pregnant women sitting knitting baby clothes 1s...   Nov 11 2004, 12:39 PM
- - basicked   what do you call a blonde with a dollar on top of ...   Nov 11 2004, 03:37 PM
- - basicked   what do you call a blonde with a dollar on top of ...   Nov 11 2004, 03:38 PM
- - tehelderoth   k, i'm gonna start off with two extremely raci...   Nov 13 2004, 05:53 PM
- - Franny   Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hosp...   Nov 15 2004, 05:46 PM
- - jake_snoogins   A black guy and a spanish guy are in a car who...   Nov 16 2004, 02:10 AM
- - grovestreetgang   How do you make a polish person go crazy? ...   Nov 16 2004, 02:20 AM
- - McGEE   Q: Why do women get periods? A: They deserve them...   Nov 17 2004, 08:14 AM
- - Damocles   An American is driving around in Southern Ireland ...   Nov 17 2004, 09:25 AM
- - kobain   a dyslexic man walks into a bra...   Nov 22 2004, 07:57 PM
- - Papa Lazarou   2 old ladies standing on the beach when a naked ma...   Nov 23 2004, 12:06 PM
- - Damocles   QUOTE (kobain @ Nov 22 2004, 08:57 PM) a dyslexic ...   Nov 27 2004, 02:22 PM
- - freestyler_onli   I can't be bothered to see if this is up but i...   Nov 27 2004, 04:54 PM
- - gimpface   why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the...   Nov 27 2004, 06:28 PM
- - Blak Majik   Whats the difference between a picture of jesus an...   Nov 28 2004, 05:29 AM
- - gimpface   why did the skeleton cross the road? to get to th...   Nov 29 2004, 07:10 PM
- - Carlos Del Aztecas   my name is Shorty Long but you can call me Long fo...   Dec 2 2004, 10:07 PM
- - mcchicken89   Q: wots the best thins about having sex with twent...   Dec 7 2004, 06:06 PM
- - Blak Majik   How do you get a poof to root a chick?? Put shit ...   Dec 10 2004, 05:19 AM
- - IronRocker   Two blondes walked into a bar, you would have thou...   Dec 11 2004, 01:30 PM
- - LanceVance   Why Couldn;t G-Unit Get Off The Bus? ...   Dec 14 2004, 10:33 PM
- - HypnoToad   An Irish man is walking down the street with a sac...   Dec 15 2004, 02:46 AM
- - Fugitive   What do you get if you mix Alcohol with a Trip to ...   Dec 20 2004, 10:14 PM
- - theRat   What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? ...   Dec 21 2004, 01:28 PM
- - bigtex   okay I got one, its called My First Time, The ...   Dec 23 2004, 04:49 AM
- - lb90210   I got one for ye. I went to the nativity play at...   Dec 26 2004, 10:16 PM
- - DukeOfLoaf   A guy goes into a bar, gets drunk and uses the toi...   Dec 28 2004, 09:42 PM
- - Franny   three men are in the desert and haven't seen a...   Dec 29 2004, 06:39 PM
- - rabidwolverine21   A high school special needs teach is on the first ...   Dec 31 2004, 03:26 AM
- - Darkey   Three men was on the street, They got killed by a ...   Dec 31 2004, 01:10 PM
- - Caracaos   QUOTE This kid went up to his dad and asked his d...   Jan 1 2005, 10:34 AM
- - Darkey   How sounds a rascist chainsaw? Rrun nigger nigger...   Jan 1 2005, 12:58 PM
- - Grand Theft Automobility   What do you call a fish under some ice? ...   Jan 1 2005, 07:41 PM
- - armistice   the sizes on the new condem pack read as the follo...   Jan 2 2005, 06:05 AM
- - dropitlykitzhot123   A bloke wins the lottery and decides to buy himsel...   Jan 5 2005, 12:59 AM
- - davey boy   a man walks into a clock shop he doesnt say anythi...   Jan 5 2005, 03:23 PM
- - Randomly-Insane   ^^^ you got that from ebaumsworld Did you hear ...   Jan 7 2005, 06:45 AM
- - Mr.eyes   QUOTE (7halo @ Oct 15 2004, 01:50 PM) QUOTE like t...   Jan 7 2005, 10:54 PM
- - TySoNpUrCeLL   1.Q:what do michael jackson and santa claus have i...   Jan 8 2005, 09:33 AM
- - Pitbull   ok, two men are talking to each other, when one su...   Jan 8 2005, 10:44 PM
- - gtasanandreasgeek   lol all those micheal jackson jokes are funny.   Jan 9 2005, 10:32 PM
- - GrandTheftAnal   What do black people and sperm have in common? On...   Jan 11 2005, 07:56 AM
- - Eyemace   raul, ronaldo and beckham are all sat in the real ...   Jan 11 2005, 10:23 PM
- - ZeKayeM   Racist Jokes Follow, you have been warned. Q.What...   Jan 12 2005, 02:53 PM
6 Pages V   1 2 3 > » 


Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 28th July 2014 - 12:33 PM

GTA 5 | GTA San Andreas | Red Dead Redemption | GTA 4