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> Kickin It With My Homies, Rated AO for "Assholes Oblivious"
post Jul 20 2005, 10:04 PM
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Tonight on MTV! At 8, A special Room Raiders: Polygamy Edition filled with ditzy bimbos and shallow fratboys. And at 8:30, an all new Made.

Kid: I wanna be made into a hardcore hustla!

A suburban white kid wants to become a hustler in the streets of Detroit. And, an all new True Life: I'm A Martyr.


Cashier: Ok, that'll be $33.96

Mr Nice: Alright. *Looks at receipt* YOU FUCKING RIPPED ME OFF! ITS $33.95!

Cashier: Excuse me, sir?

Mr Nice: See! there you go, waving your authority dick around like some blabbering cum bag! OMEGA!

Omega: *in Panty aisle looking through bargain bin* Yes, dear?


Omega: What did he do?

Mr Nice: His bitchass shortchanged me

Omega: OH HELL NO!

*Omega and Mr. Nice shout random, incoherent obscenities at cashier*

Cashier: Are these guys really calling me a deer fucking dipshit ass goblin cockwhore for no reason?

Mr Nice: Do you know who we are?

Cashier: Collabration of Raging Asinine Super Hicks?

*Omega busts vain in head*

Mr Nice: Careful, Omega. You had 3 anuerisms this month. Anyways, Captain McFuckface, we are CRASH. Community Raping..er Raging Assholes..AH FUCK Omega, what was our acryonym again?

Omega: I could of sworn it was National Association Man Boy Love Association.

Mr Nice: You sphinkterfuck, that's NAMBLA.

Cashier: Look, I know who you are. Community Resources Against Shit Heads.

Mr Nice: Hah, you catch on quick punk. C'mon Omega, we pwned this guy. Let's get back to the forums.

Omega: Right. *stuffs various woman hygenic products in pocket*

Cashier: powned? Damn kids and their internets.

*Arizona Desert*

Mech: C'mon Pyro, is this going to work or not?

Pyro: Shh..

*Illegal walks by*

Pyro: Watch...*Controls RC car with fake jewelry on the back*


*Sandworm rises from sand and devours illegal*

Mech: Whoa, So these things smell illegals?

Pyro: Not exactly. They hear footsteps from the illegals and come up from the ground to feed. Oh shit, here comes another one.


Mech: This one is full of it...

Pyro: Quiet...*drives another RC car with boxcutter on it*

Illegal: ALLAHKALALA! *picks up RC* *Gets devoured by sandworm*

Pyro: Shit!

Mech: What? The sandworm got him good...

Illegal: *inside worm* REPENT PRAISE AL ACKBAR!

*Worm blows up*

Pyro: That wasn't an illegal, it was a damn islamic extremist...

Mech: So? We're fighting the war on terrorism.

Pyro: No, sandworms hate the taste of brown people from the middle east. If one successfully digests one of them, they excrete watery feces into the Arizona water system.

Mech: No wonder the water here tastes like shit...

Pyro: Oh no, that's Janet Napoletano's fault.

Tonight on All My Forums!

Edgecrusher: I am sorry, Fido but you're relationship in this thread is never going to fit.

Fido: You cockwhore! *soap opera slaps Edge*

And...In a revealing twist

P4yn3: I can't believe you are laying me off in CRASH!

Damian: I am sorry but you're just too damn canadian for the job!

P4yn3: HOW COULD YOU! *slaps Damian*

Damian: Why is everyone slapping everyone?


Vendetta: *yawn*

All this and more on the next All My Forums. Only on TNT! WE KNOW FORUM DRAMA!


Icey: Bright Eyes is not music, it's emotestical bullnanny!

Knuckles: Have you even heard of their songs?

Icey: ...No, but I have very good reason to hate them...

Knuckles: Why is that?

Icey: BANDWAGON TIME!!!!!!!!! *bounces around*


Ash: No one informed me there's a forum musical going on? Bastards.


Ash: :wtf:

Knuckles: Look if you are going to smear on Conor's achievements, do it somewhere else. Your turning this place into a house of sad poets.

Conor: Did someone say...HOUSE OF SAD POETS?!

*Knuckles steals car and drives off cliff*

Gnick: You think we killed him?

Icey: Yeah. Now there is no else to bother.

Gnick: We could rant about how the boards are dying...

Icey: True, true.

*Cairo, Egypt*

Nic: Simon, when I said I wanted to go on this vacation, I didn't mean dragging my ass around in a sandy ass desert. It's torture.

Psy: Oh, bloody shut it.

Pyro: *sitting in chair* Dragging your ass around isn't torture, it's living in Arizona.

Psy: What the fuck are you doing here?

Pyro: Sandworms overran the whole state of Arizona so I had to migrate somewhere else that is deserty.

Psy: Oh, it's too much trouble to move to Nevada? or Mexico?

Pyro: Actually, you told me you coming here for vacation so I decided to bother the shit out of you.

Psy: Great, did you tell the retards not to flood my inbox?

Pyro: No. In fact, I announced that your inbox was being used by Jack Thompson.

Psy: Wha..what?

Pyro: Oh, and Snape killed Dumbledore.


Dumbeldore: Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch, I am not dead.


*Pyro pulls out magnum and shoots Dumbeldore*

Pyro: No, I KILLED DUMBELDORE! Now, will you bastards leave me alone?

*NCP's street*


Donnie: I hope to god you didn't buy that from a capitalist.

NCP: No, I stole it from some loser kid in a pink jumpsuit...


Donnie: Well, ok. Fair enough. Wait, isn't a poor black dude supposed to steal it?

Pyro: Nope.

NCP: Pyro, how the fuck can you be in one place one minute and somewhere else the next?

Pyro: I am a transparent entity capable of shifting through various time lapses and tangible universes through means of loopholes that are in the laws of physics. Oh, and if you're living in the southwest, poor beaners steal your bike, not a black dude. Tootles...*steals NCP's bike and rides off into portal*

Bain: WTF?

NCP: How did YOU get here?

Bain: Pyro says there was a bike here I can steal.

Donnie: But you don't live in the southwest. O_o

Bain: Oh yeah. *shifts into other time portal*


Fiber: Hi, I am Fiber Optikz.

FNG: And I am Jay FNG Philbrook.

Fiber: I thought it was F-ing?

FNG: EFF EN GEE! Anyway, today we have a special treat for you.

Fiber: That's right. It as easy as tying your shoes or building a homemade bomb to kill millions of innocent kids at your school.

FNG: What is it Fiber?

Fiber: The easy method to download porn!

FNG: ...Wait, everyone knows how to download porn O_o

Fiber: Exactly! We are showing Little Jimmy in Idaho that downloading GTA San Andreas' loveable Hot Coffee mod is as easy as downloading porn from the intraweb.

FNG: That's right my heterosexual power mate! Download porn. FREE AND EASY!

Fiber: First thing you have to do is have a internet connection. Second, type in any of your favorite search engines. Click on the "Images" tab. Now type the following words in the search bar:

Paris Hilton

or any of your favorite pornstars. ITS THAT EASY!

FNG: Yes, and tomorrow we will be discussing on how to get fake I.Ds and even...

*Hilary busts in*

Hilary: Alright, you no good 3rd party hackers. I now have you red-handed. I am going to the press with this. I am even going to push legislation to put you in jail!

FNG: Because we are explaining to the viewers of this awful skit some common sense?

Hilary: *long pause* ...Yes. After I am done with you, I will also be campaigning against instruction manual manufactuers, Adobe and its Photoshop product and The Discovery Channel.

Fiber: Why the Discovery channel?

Hilary: Because it has both the key elements that the Hot Coffee mod had: Boobies and instructions to educate the viewers.

FNG: and Photoshop?

Hilary: ...It teaches little kids how to draw boobies. O_o

*Rockstar Representative bursts in*


PatrickW: LIES!

On the next Kickin It. Old whiny politicans celebrate the fate of Rockstar's net loss! CRASH expands their organization to the middle east. Pyro takes on the infamous Jack Thompson in a CSPAN debate (Borrrrring!) and more unexpected movie spoilers!


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QUOTE (Heartless on GTA4.TV)
Unlike the mainstream forums, we're gritty, crazy sociopaths. And still approved by Rockstar. Most GTA Sites cater to a younger, softer audience (Zidane?), as opposed to this forum, which caters to bi-polar grandmothers with too many cats (Pyro?).
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Posts in this topic
- PyroHazard   Kickin It With My Homies   Jul 20 2005, 10:04 PM
- - Albino   Dear god, Pyro, that's awesome. XD x 100000000   Jul 20 2005, 10:08 PM
- - R.E.D   HA Ha the part with psy and nic in egypt was my fa...   Jul 20 2005, 10:14 PM
- - Catnip   Truly exellent!   Jul 20 2005, 10:19 PM
- - Mr. Nice   CRASH is truly famous now..... Oh no. . .I....I pr...   Jul 21 2005, 01:17 AM
- - Coreyko   Heh that was pretty funny especially with Pyro tel...   Jul 21 2005, 01:30 AM
- - mello_yello   I'm gonna march on Florida Lead the fight and ...   Jul 21 2005, 01:37 AM
- - SoAP of WhEEze   lol verry good dude   Jul 21 2005, 01:40 AM
- - DAMIAN91   Hey Everyone! Did you see me!? I was in it...   Jul 21 2005, 02:29 AM
|- - Skillz   QUOTE(DAMIAN91 @ Jul 20 2005, 10:29 PM)Hey Ev...   Jul 21 2005, 03:08 AM
- - Bain   I was gonna steal a bike Best one yet.   Jul 21 2005, 02:50 AM
- - Fido 14   Why do you always have me calling someone a cockwh...   Jul 21 2005, 03:33 AM
- - S.A.B.   QUOTE(Fido 14 @ Jul 20 2005, 11:33 PM)Why do ...   Jul 21 2005, 03:43 AM
- - thefirm   again great fucking story another classic   Jul 21 2005, 07:16 AM
- - Randomly-Insane   wow, excellent work again.... the CRASH bit was t...   Jul 21 2005, 07:16 AM
|- - Mr. Nice   QUOTE(Randomly-Insane @ Jul 21 2005, 08:...   Jul 21 2005, 08:12 AM
- - Mechanicalizzle   hahahahaha XD. I told y'all sandworms rule. ...   Jul 21 2005, 10:52 AM
- - Omega9   Right...For starters why is this in "General ...   Jul 21 2005, 02:28 PM
|- - psychø   QUOTE(Omega9 @ Jul 21 2005, 04:28 PM)Right......   Jul 21 2005, 02:41 PM
|- - PyroHazard   QUOTE(Omega9 @ Jul 21 2005, 03:28 PM)Right......   Jul 21 2005, 08:55 PM
- - Omega9   Very mature psycho...I give my opinion and you sla...   Jul 21 2005, 02:50 PM
- - Zacko   XD Was Mech killed?   Jul 21 2005, 02:50 PM
|- - Mechanicalizzle   QUOTE(Zacko @ Jul 21 2005, 04:50 PM)XD Was Me...   Jul 21 2005, 03:01 PM
- - Albino   IMO, Mech should have been raped by a horse to mee...   Jul 21 2005, 10:39 PM
- - mello_yello   OK, Pyro, at the start of every Kikin it you HAVE ...   Jul 21 2005, 10:41 PM
- - Omega9   WELL SHIT! Does it not seem more fitting for t...   Jul 22 2005, 03:25 PM
- - punxtr15   I'd rather pin it in Entertainment and update ...   Jul 22 2005, 09:03 PM
- - Nanook   Me no lea Kickin It hasta ahora muy chistoso   Aug 23 2005, 11:44 PM
- - SoAP of WhEEze   no no... it is: Yo aun leo el kickin it de Pyro,...   Aug 23 2005, 11:56 PM
- - Nanook   Me no ablo Espanol, what do you expect? edit: ap...   Aug 23 2005, 11:58 PM
- - Destruction-Overdrive   bon pyrohazard de travail .il était très drôle   Aug 24 2005, 12:55 AM
- - Gee You Knit   exalant good work *more random compliments*   Aug 24 2005, 04:24 AM
- - Pizza_Guy   loved it. made me fall outta my chair on 3 seperat...   Aug 24 2005, 05:09 AM
- - Toge   That was nice, you got some skill   Aug 24 2005, 08:07 AM
- - Freakin-Barracuda   Puta caralho, eu devia entrar nesta merda. It was...   Aug 24 2005, 08:23 AM
- - Brownlump   XD. I liked the bicycle bits the most lol.   Aug 25 2005, 09:56 AM

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