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> 'Marriage Is for White People', Written by a black woman
Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 02:27 AM
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I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry.

My time never came.

For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

Source

There you have it. A black woman confesses that black families were better back in the days of slavery. She also agrees that marriage is for white people. Its certainly not racist now since a black woman said it.

This post has been edited by Fido 14: May 17 2006, 01:24 AM


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Guest_Albino_*
post Mar 28 2006, 02:35 AM
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You're mincing words to achieve your own means, Fido.

Also, the opinion of one black person doesn't cover their entire race.
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Bitch Heartless
post Mar 28 2006, 02:37 AM
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QUOTE(Albino @ Mar 27 2006, 09:13 PM) [snapback]1123146[/snapback]

You're mincing words to achieve your own means, Fido.

Also, the opinion of one black person doesn't cover their entire race.



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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 02:40 AM
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QUOTE(Albino @ Mar 27 2006, 11:13 PM) [snapback]1123146[/snapback]

You're mincing words to achieve your own means, Fido.

Also, the opinion of one black person doesn't cover their entire race.


I just love the excuses. "Oh, you're just using facts to persuade people to believe in the things you want to believe in!" When in reality, I'm only exposing what a black woman said herself. If you even read the article, you'd see that she got that statement "Marriage is for white people" from some black students in her class that she taught. It is not an opinion, but a fact as she covers statistics inside her article of the declining of black marriage. Its funny how you can't call her a racist just because she's black, but if a white person said it then it would automatically be racist.

@Termite

You didn't even read the article or the statistics inside it.

This post has been edited by Fido 14: Mar 28 2006, 02:41 AM


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post Mar 28 2006, 02:41 AM
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She didn't say slavery was better, she said blacks were more likely to be marred during slavery.

And plenty of black husbands and wives and childeren were sold far away from each other.

In fact the divorce thing didn't happen until about 30 years ago, so black families were better off in the 1950s then the 1850s. dry.gif


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post Mar 28 2006, 02:43 AM
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And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.


Now we see where Fido gets his "proof" from... makes sense.
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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 02:44 AM
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She didn't say slavery was better, she said blacks were more likely to be marred during slavery.

And plenty of black husbands and wives and childeren were sold far away from each other.


I know she didn't say slavery was better. I said that she she said black families were better off in the days of slavery. In the days of slavery, the black families actually cared for each other and did extraordinarily things to show that they wanted to stay together unlike now.

QUOTE
In fact the divorce thing didn't happen until about 30 years ago, so black families were better off in the 1950s then the 1850s.


What are you talking about? She even said that there's been a decline of black marriage and that's a bad thing.

QUOTE
Now we see where Fido gets his "proof" from... makes sense.


And what's that supposed to mean? Obviously something has to be up with some black 12 year olds say "Marriage is for white people." It means that they're around an environment where they don't have close families and they see the other white kids have close families. You're just pissed off at seeing the truth, even from a black woman. Besides that, there are statistics included in the article that the black woman already said. Oh yeah, you didn't read it.

This post has been edited by Fido 14: Mar 28 2006, 02:47 AM


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post Mar 28 2006, 02:47 AM
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Marriage is a load of bullshit. Divorce rates have increased amongst both black and whites, and the ideal family setup has degenerated. It is obsolete. However, it does appear that more black people than white are intrested in having as much "ass" as possible, and spreading their seed. Also, the christian idea of marriage was never present in Africa, and deep down, black people know that marriage won't work. The blame should be put squarely on the men.

I will also point out the amount of interracial couples where the black father has pissed of on the white mother. Just take a look at some of today's mixed race celebrites. Mariah Carey and Halle Berry are two notable people of mixed race who had their black father's leave. This is not always the case, of course.



This post has been edited by handsome b wonderful: Mar 28 2006, 02:49 AM


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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 02:50 AM
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QUOTE
Marriage is a load of bullshit. Divorce rates have increased amongst both black and whites, and the ideal family setup has degenerated. It is obsolete. However, it does appear that more black people than white are intrested in having as much "ass" as possible, and spreading their seed. Also, the christian idea of marriage was never present in Africa, and deep down, black people know that marriage won't work. The blame should be put squarely on the men.


You've missed the point. The point is that black marriage has declined. Yes, white marriage has declined as well, but not as severely bad as black marriage. An example of how black families were at their best with caring and sticking together was slavery.


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Handsome B Wonde...
post Mar 28 2006, 02:59 AM
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But marriage decline, in a way, is a good thing. Why would you wan't to marry someone who goes around fucking anything that moves?. I do agree that the Blacks in AMERICA cared more about each other as families than they do now. Slavery, to some blacks, was traumatic. That would explain why they were so close then.

A question. At what period in time did marriage gain such importance? I assumed that it pre-dates civilization. Your daughter for some mastodon steaks! smile.gif

This post has been edited by handsome b wonderful: Mar 28 2006, 03:07 AM


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OptimumPx
post Mar 28 2006, 03:00 AM
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QUOTE(Fido 14 @ Mar 27 2006, 11:22 PM) [snapback]1123157[/snapback]

QUOTE
She didn't say slavery was better, she said blacks were more likely to be marred during slavery.

And plenty of black husbands and wives and childeren were sold far away from each other.


I know she didn't say slavery was better. I said that she she said black families were better off in the days of slavery. In the days of slavery, the black families actually cared for each other and did extraordinarily things to show that they wanted to stay together unlike now.

Ya, now...about 141 years after slavery.

She said that when she grew up black families stayed together. That would be topcs 40 years ago (depending on her age). Thats still 100 years of black families staying together after slavery.
QUOTE
QUOTE
In fact the divorce thing didn't happen until about 30 years ago, so black families were better off in the 1950s then the 1850s.


What are you talking about? She even said that there's been a decline of black marriage and that's a bad thing.
A decline over the past 30-40 years. Yes, thats bad...but white families divorce at high rates as well.

Take my Dad for example, my Mom is his second wife. I have a half brother and sister from his first marrage.

Not just blacks divorce. In fact I personally know several black families that have stayed married and raised children. They don't all divorce.


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Baldman_Sonetti
post Mar 28 2006, 12:27 PM
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QUOTE
The average total cost of a wedding today is 15,244, a figure that rises to an astronomical 18,154 for weddings taking place in London.


Source


Thats why a higher percentage of white people get married than black people. And before anyone hits out with "RACIST WAH WAH", do your own damn research and compare the average earnings of a white family compared to that of a black family.

It's irrelevant anyway. Marriage is an out-dated concept of legality and social mores, nothing more than an expensive symbol and the cause of an even more expensive get-out clause.


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gingergenius
post Mar 28 2006, 03:02 PM
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fido - what's your point??

the stereotypical black family does not have a stable marriage. all stereotypes are based on fact. but that doesnt mean blacks can't get married, or that they have an instinct not to.

both my best friends are white, and both have divorced parents. in my previous school, my best friend was black and his parents were happily married. there are loads of exceptions to the stereotype.

and just because one black woman said that their families were stronger during slavery, it does not mean that she thinks slavery should return, and it does not mean that all black people agree with her.

in britain, about 90% of our population is white (mainly british, but also irish, german, polish, french, scandanavian, southern european, etc.) but one in every three marriages ends in divorce. it is not just a black thing, and nor is it a poor thing.
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post Mar 28 2006, 04:27 PM
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Well done, they're cottoned on to the fact that monogamy blows. Just because white men go behind their wife's back to a mistress, but stay married to keep up appearances, that's much better.


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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 06:03 PM
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QUOTE(gingergenius @ Mar 28 2006, 11:40 AM) [snapback]1123439[/snapback]

fido - what's your point??

the stereotypical black family does not have a stable marriage. all stereotypes are based on fact. but that doesnt mean blacks can't get married, or that they have an instinct not to.

both my best friends are white, and both have divorced parents. in my previous school, my best friend was black and his parents were happily married. there are loads of exceptions to the stereotype.

and just because one black woman said that their families were stronger during slavery, it does not mean that she thinks slavery should return, and it does not mean that all black people agree with her.

in britain, about 90% of our population is white (mainly british, but also irish, german, polish, french, scandanavian, southern european, etc.) but one in every three marriages ends in divorce. it is not just a black thing, and nor is it a poor thing.


What's my point? What do you mean? I'm just reporting an interesting and true article. I'm not saying that white people are better just because black people don't marry anymore. I'm just saying that black marriage has declined since slavery and that's proven by statistics. I know all this nonsense about white people getting divorced to. Listen, I know that already, but its not as bad as the blacks' severe situation. By the way, I really doubt 90% of Britian is white nowadays.

QUOTE
Well done, they're cottoned on to the fact that monogamy blows. Just because white men go behind their wife's back to a mistress, but stay married to keep up appearances, that's much better.


That is a statistic, eh? White men going behind their wives' backs and getting mistresses? I'll have to check that statistic out sometime.

This post has been edited by Fido 14: Mar 28 2006, 06:05 PM


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post Mar 28 2006, 06:14 PM
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OK, if you think white people are any more faithful than blacks...


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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 06:18 PM
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QUOTE(mello_yello @ Mar 28 2006, 02:52 PM) [snapback]1123573[/snapback]

OK, if you think white people are any more faithful than blacks...


Statistics don't lie and when a black woman and a majority of blacks say it, then it can't be false, chap.


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post Mar 28 2006, 06:19 PM
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Majority of 12 year old blacks in a single room.


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Fido 14
post Mar 28 2006, 06:22 PM
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QUOTE(mello_yello @ Mar 28 2006, 02:57 PM) [snapback]1123577[/snapback]

Majority of 12 year old blacks in a single room.


They were only reciting statistics. So what are you trying to say? That 12 year old black kids are stupid? Are you judging a book by its cover, mello? I think you're quite racist.


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Stead
post Mar 29 2006, 09:30 PM
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oh man, iv'e heard white people say that years ago marrige was a lot better, one persons opinion doesn't mean anything, i'd like to think you of all people should know that, these days marrige just isn't what it used to be, and people realise now they want to live life and have fun, even if that means letting your wife cheat on your and then being forced to pay child support because she cheated on you, (here in wales its more common for the women to cheat, then sue the current partner for causing them to cheat, and then the man has to pay child support, go law!).

divorce used to be frowned apon, now you can get a divorce at the checkouts of your local supermarkets (legal issues still pending in the uk i belive, however many countries already have that), times have changed, not just for black people, but for white people also.
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