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> Kickin It With My Homies, Rated AO for "Assholes Oblivious"
Pyrocy
post Jul 20 2005, 10:04 PM
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*Advertisment*

Tonight on MTV! At 8, A special Room Raiders: Polygamy Edition filled with ditzy bimbos and shallow fratboys. And at 8:30, an all new Made.

Kid: I wanna be made into a hardcore hustla!

A suburban white kid wants to become a hustler in the streets of Detroit. And, an all new True Life: I'm A Martyr.
*************

*Walmart*

Cashier: Ok, that'll be $33.96

Mr Nice: Alright. *Looks at receipt* YOU FUCKING RIPPED ME OFF! ITS $33.95!

Cashier: Excuse me, sir?

Mr Nice: See! there you go, waving your authority dick around like some blabbering cum bag! OMEGA!

Omega: *in Panty aisle looking through bargain bin* Yes, dear?

Mr Nice: HELP ME TROLL THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CASHIER!

Omega: What did he do?

Mr Nice: His bitchass shortchanged me

Omega: OH HELL NO!

*Omega and Mr. Nice shout random, incoherent obscenities at cashier*

Cashier: Are these guys really calling me a deer fucking dipshit ass goblin cockwhore for no reason?

Mr Nice: Do you know who we are?

Cashier: Collabration of Raging Asinine Super Hicks?

*Omega busts vain in head*

Mr Nice: Careful, Omega. You had 3 anuerisms this month. Anyways, Captain McFuckface, we are CRASH. Community Raping..er Raging Assholes..AH FUCK Omega, what was our acryonym again?

Omega: I could of sworn it was National Association Man Boy Love Association.

Mr Nice: You sphinkterfuck, that's NAMBLA.

Cashier: Look, I know who you are. Community Resources Against Shit Heads.

Mr Nice: Hah, you catch on quick punk. C'mon Omega, we pwned this guy. Let's get back to the forums.

Omega: Right. *stuffs various woman hygenic products in pocket*

Cashier: powned? Damn kids and their internets.

*Arizona Desert*

Mech: C'mon Pyro, is this going to work or not?

Pyro: Shh..

*Illegal walks by*

Pyro: Watch...*Controls RC car with fake jewelry on the back*

Illegal: AY LOS ABUMOS! FAKE JEWELRY TO SELL AT THE TANQUE VERDE SWAP MEET!

*Sandworm rises from sand and devours illegal*

Mech: Whoa, So these things smell illegals?

Pyro: Not exactly. They hear footsteps from the illegals and come up from the ground to feed. Oh shit, here comes another one.

Illegal: GALABALADALAPRAISEALLAH!

Mech: This one is full of it...

Pyro: Quiet...*drives another RC car with boxcutter on it*

Illegal: ALLAHKALALA! *picks up RC* *Gets devoured by sandworm*

Pyro: Shit!

Mech: What? The sandworm got him good...

Illegal: *inside worm* REPENT PRAISE AL ACKBAR!

*Worm blows up*

Pyro: That wasn't an illegal, it was a damn islamic extremist...

Mech: So? We're fighting the war on terrorism.

Pyro: No, sandworms hate the taste of brown people from the middle east. If one successfully digests one of them, they excrete watery feces into the Arizona water system.

Mech: No wonder the water here tastes like shit...

Pyro: Oh no, that's Janet Napoletano's fault.

Tonight on All My Forums!

Edgecrusher: I am sorry, Fido but you're relationship in this thread is never going to fit.

Fido: You cockwhore! *soap opera slaps Edge*

And...In a revealing twist

P4yn3: I can't believe you are laying me off in CRASH!

Damian: I am sorry but you're just too damn canadian for the job!

P4yn3: HOW COULD YOU! *slaps Damian*

Damian: Why is everyone slapping everyone?

Also...!

Vendetta: *yawn*

All this and more on the next All My Forums. Only on TNT! WE KNOW FORUM DRAMA!

*TheGFCC.com*'

Icey: Bright Eyes is not music, it's emotestical bullnanny!

Knuckles: Have you even heard of their songs?

Icey: ...No, but I have very good reason to hate them...

Knuckles: Why is that?

Icey: BANDWAGON TIME!!!!!!!!! *bounces around*

Gnick: EMOTION IN MUSIC IS GAY! ITS GAY! ITS GAY!

Ash: No one informed me there's a forum musical going on? Bastards.

Icey: Conor Obrest HAS AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Ash: :wtf:

Knuckles: Look if you are going to smear on Conor's achievements, do it somewhere else. Your turning this place into a house of sad poets.

Conor: Did someone say...HOUSE OF SAD POETS?!

*Knuckles steals car and drives off cliff*

Gnick: You think we killed him?

Icey: Yeah. Now there is no else to bother.

Gnick: We could rant about how the boards are dying...

Icey: True, true.

*Cairo, Egypt*

Nic: Simon, when I said I wanted to go on this vacation, I didn't mean dragging my ass around in a sandy ass desert. It's torture.

Psy: Oh, bloody shut it.

Pyro: *sitting in chair* Dragging your ass around isn't torture, it's living in Arizona.

Psy: What the fuck are you doing here?

Pyro: Sandworms overran the whole state of Arizona so I had to migrate somewhere else that is deserty.

Psy: Oh, it's too much trouble to move to Nevada? or Mexico?

Pyro: Actually, you told me you coming here for vacation so I decided to bother the shit out of you.

Psy: Great, did you tell the retards not to flood my inbox?

Pyro: No. In fact, I announced that your inbox was being used by Jack Thompson.

Psy: Wha..what?

Pyro: Oh, and Snape killed Dumbledore.

Nic: UNEXPECTED SPOILERS NOOOOOOOO!

Dumbeldore: Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch, I am not dead.

Snape: WHAT?! THIS CAN'T BE!

*Pyro pulls out magnum and shoots Dumbeldore*

Pyro: No, I KILLED DUMBELDORE! Now, will you bastards leave me alone?

*NCP's street*

NCP: BIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIICYCLE! I LOVE TO RIDE MY BICEEKEL!

Donnie: I hope to god you didn't buy that from a capitalist.

NCP: No, I stole it from some loser kid in a pink jumpsuit...

Kid: DUTCH MAN STOLE MA BIKE!

Donnie: Well, ok. Fair enough. Wait, isn't a poor black dude supposed to steal it?

Pyro: Nope.

NCP: Pyro, how the fuck can you be in one place one minute and somewhere else the next?

Pyro: I am a transparent entity capable of shifting through various time lapses and tangible universes through means of loopholes that are in the laws of physics. Oh, and if you're living in the southwest, poor beaners steal your bike, not a black dude. Tootles...*steals NCP's bike and rides off into portal*

Bain: WTF?

NCP: How did YOU get here?

Bain: Pyro says there was a bike here I can steal.

Donnie: But you don't live in the southwest. O_o

Bain: Oh yeah. *shifts into other time portal*

*TheGFCC.com*

Fiber: Hi, I am Fiber Optikz.

FNG: And I am Jay FNG Philbrook.

Fiber: I thought it was F-ing?

FNG: EFF EN GEE! Anyway, today we have a special treat for you.

Fiber: That's right. It as easy as tying your shoes or building a homemade bomb to kill millions of innocent kids at your school.

FNG: What is it Fiber?

Fiber: The easy method to download porn!

FNG: ...Wait, everyone knows how to download porn O_o

Fiber: Exactly! We are showing Little Jimmy in Idaho that downloading GTA San Andreas' loveable Hot Coffee mod is as easy as downloading porn from the intraweb.

FNG: That's right my heterosexual power mate! Download porn. FREE AND EASY!

Fiber: First thing you have to do is have a internet connection. Second, type in any of your favorite search engines. Click on the "Images" tab. Now type the following words in the search bar:

Porn
XXX
Fucking
Bukkake
PyroHazard
Girl
01
BDSM
S&M
Fetish
Hardcore
Blowjob
TheGFCC
Paris Hilton

or any of your favorite pornstars. ITS THAT EASY!

FNG: Yes, and tomorrow we will be discussing on how to get fake I.Ds and even...

*Hilary busts in*

Hilary: Alright, you no good 3rd party hackers. I now have you red-handed. I am going to the press with this. I am even going to push legislation to put you in jail!

FNG: Because we are explaining to the viewers of this awful skit some common sense?

Hilary: *long pause* ...Yes. After I am done with you, I will also be campaigning against instruction manual manufactuers, Adobe and its Photoshop product and The Discovery Channel.

Fiber: Why the Discovery channel?

Hilary: Because it has both the key elements that the Hot Coffee mod had: Boobies and instructions to educate the viewers.

FNG: and Photoshop?

Hilary: ...It teaches little kids how to draw boobies. O_o

*Rockstar Representative bursts in*

R* Rep: ROCKSTAR DENIES ALL INVOLVEMENT WITH ALIEN TECHNOLOGY!

PatrickW: LIES!

On the next Kickin It. Old whiny politicans celebrate the fate of Rockstar's net loss! CRASH expands their organization to the middle east. Pyro takes on the infamous Jack Thompson in a CSPAN debate (Borrrrring!) and more unexpected movie spoilers!


--------------------

Add Me on MySpace if you're so inclined...
QUOTE (Heartless on GTA4.TV)
Unlike the mainstream forums, we're gritty, crazy sociopaths. And still approved by Rockstar. Most GTA Sites cater to a younger, softer audience (Zidane?), as opposed to this forum, which caters to bi-polar grandmothers with too many cats (Pyro?).
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Guest_Albino_*
post Jul 20 2005, 10:08 PM
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Dear god, Pyro, that's awesome. XD x 100000000
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Young Escobar
post Jul 20 2005, 10:14 PM
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HA Ha the part with psy and nic in egypt was my fav happy.gif


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Catnip
post Jul 20 2005, 10:19 PM
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Truly exellent! laugh.gif
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Guest_Mr. Nice_*
post Jul 21 2005, 01:17 AM
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CRASH is truly famous now..... Oh no. . .I....I promised myself I wouldn't cry. . . *Runs away sobbing*

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Guest_Coreyko_*
post Jul 21 2005, 01:30 AM
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Heh that was pretty funny especially with Pyro teleporting everywhere.
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Passionate Homo ...
post Jul 21 2005, 01:37 AM
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I'm gonna march on Florida
Lead the fight and charge the brigades
There's a hax0r inside of all of us
But Jack Thompson is the Ace of Spades

Get the Mercenaries thing in there? I rule.


--------------------

QUOTE(LMOZ)
drive carfuly,because every secend a shrak can teleport itself to your car, and try to drive your car (if you have one) with shark in it.
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old/10
post Jul 21 2005, 01:40 AM
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lol

verry good dude



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QUOTE(Darkruler @ Sep 6 2005, 02:03 AM)
Today I FUCKED MY MOM FUCKED MY MOM
[/center]
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DAMIAN91
post Jul 21 2005, 02:29 AM
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Hey Everyone! Did you see me!? I was in it! Yep. Right there! Kinda in the middle. I had a part with P4yn3. See it? cool.gif


--------------------
ORGANIZING VC-MP SQUAD
Zacko - Deko - Gnar - Bulldog - Mech - Cuda - Lazz - Asthenia - Nanook - EMBO - Toge -Redundant - Psycho - Dupzor
0.2 Released

My First Topic
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Bain
post Jul 21 2005, 02:50 AM
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Rat
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I was gonna steal a bike roll2.gif

Best one yet.


--------------------
BAIN POINTS:

Pickles: +7
D-O: +88
Mekstizzle: +10
QD: -10
Frog Choker: + 13
Analogkid: -25
Psy: -8
Ast: +10
Treefitty: -10
Viceman: -59*
Massacre: +5
Spoiler: -14
Voodoo: +17

*= Fail
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Skillz
post Jul 21 2005, 03:08 AM
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QUOTE(DAMIAN91 @ Jul 20 2005, 10:29 PM)
Hey Everyone! Did you see me!? I was in it! Yep. Right there! Kinda in the middle. I had a part with P4yn3. See it?  cool.gif
[right][snapback]762345[/snapback][/right]


lol bastard

classic as usual pyro laugh.gif


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I smoke two joints in the morning.
I smoke two joints at night.
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints,
And then I smoke two more
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Fido 14
post Jul 21 2005, 03:33 AM
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Why do you always have me calling someone a cockwhore in your skits Pyro?


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-Credit to Washunka for sig
UNBANNED AGAIN!
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S.A.B.
post Jul 21 2005, 03:43 AM
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QUOTE(Fido 14 @ Jul 20 2005, 11:33 PM)
Why do you always have me calling someone a cockwhore in your skits Pyro?
[right][snapback]762445[/snapback][/right]

Because that's what you do!
DUH!!!!! stupid.gif
EDIT:
Nice story! smile.gif

This post has been edited by S.A.B.: Jul 21 2005, 03:45 AM


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Bulkstack
post Jul 21 2005, 07:16 AM
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again

great fucking story

another classic
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Guest_Randomly-Insane_*
post Jul 21 2005, 07:16 AM
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wow, excellent work again.... the CRASH bit was truly hilarious...
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Guest_Mr. Nice_*
post Jul 21 2005, 08:12 AM
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QUOTE(Randomly-Insane @ Jul 21 2005, 08:16 AM)
wow, excellent work again....  the CRASH bit was truly hilarious...
[right][snapback]762835[/snapback][/right]



Wasn't it? laugh.gif

The thing I like about this is I can actually picture everything that has been written. It's like watching a TV show. laugh.gif
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Mekstizzle
post Jul 21 2005, 10:52 AM
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hahahahaha XD. I told y'all sandworms rule.

Too bad those damn Terrorists always have to ruin everything. mad.gif


-------

I agree C.R.A.S.H are now truly famous.

ONE THING
How did NCP know that Pyro was in Egypt, to ask how he get to Nederlanden so fast!? ohmy.gif
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Guest_Omega9_*
post Jul 21 2005, 02:28 PM
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Right...For starters why is this in "General Discussion"? Isn't this more like Asylum Material? It has a small post count potential and it seems more fitting for the asylum...If anyone else tried something like this outside the asylum, chances are it'd get moved.

Now that I think about it, this would fit in just as well in the entertainment section.

The CRASH bit was quite funny. Sadly, it just seemed to go a bit off course after that. It went from amusing, to stupid. It managed to get somewhat funny again when it shifted to Fido, but went stupid again after that. Not the worst i'v read, but certainly not the best either.

I'd give it a 4/10.
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psychÝ
post Jul 21 2005, 02:41 PM
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QUOTE(Omega9 @ Jul 21 2005, 04:28 PM)
Right...For starters why is this in "General Discussion"? Isn't this more like Asylum Material? It has a small post count potential and it seems more fitting for the asylum...If anyone else tried something like this outside the asylum, chances are it'd get moved.

Now that I think about it, this would fit in just as well in the entertainment section.

The CRASH bit was quite funny. Sadly, it just seemed to go a bit off course after that. It went from amusing, to stupid. It managed to get somewhat funny again when it shifted to Fido, but went stupid again after that. Not the worst i'v read, but certainly not the best either.

I'd give it a 4/10.
[right][snapback]763384[/snapback][/right]

Shame no one care what you think..........................

i thought it was pretty good


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Guest_Omega9_*
post Jul 21 2005, 02:50 PM
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Very mature psycho...I give my opinion and you slap me in the nuts with "no one cares what you think!" You can dis-agree with me if you want, but there's no need to be childish about it.
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