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> Hey kids, Its ASK! JACK! THOMPSON!, Another dumb e-skit by yours truly
Pyrocy
post Mar 21 2005, 06:00 AM
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JT: Hello, My name is Jack Thompson. I will be answering your calls. Thats right, I can now make a fool of myself and you on the air. Lets take the 1st call...

Caller: Hey Jack. I am a huge supporter of your Anti-GTA Cult. I got a simple question: When will you be on 60 minutes again?

Jack: Bug off.

Caller: Jack, fess up. We all know you're full of [*boop*]. More than a million GTAholics maim and kill on that damn game and I don't see them roaming the streets, jacking cars, raping old ladies. Care to answer that logical scenario.

Jack: Yeah, logical and GTA shouldn't be on the same sentence. Idiot.

Caller: Welcome back, Mr. Thompson. We've missed you.

Jack: Go away.

Caller: I totally agree with your stance, Mr. Thompson. I am a devout christian and neo-fundamentalistic bible basher. GTA is the devil. These gamers and Rockstar Games should repent their sins! Anyway, do you think we should persecute these mortal demons?

Jack: The only demon is you. I was on 60 Minutes!

Caller: I am a middle class mother with 3 children and I have a minivan. I watched my son play GTA and was disgusted. He was killing women for points! I tried locking him up in the closet and beating him profusely. Jack, you and I support neo-conservatism, what should I do?

Jack: Go ask Dr. Phil. I am too busy looking at myself in the mirror.

Caller: This doesn't pertain to GTA but have you ever considered running for president?

Jack: No, now get off my station before I sue your ass.

Caller: Jack, this is Debbie. I am pregnant. The underage hooker you had a fling with? That was me. Are you going to pay child support or not?

Jack: No way. I have got more important things to do. Like sueing people and telling myself how good I look. The abomination in your womb will probaly grow up to be a Rockstar Games lackey. Piss off.

Caller: Jack, why are you so negative? Did mommy beat you?

Jack: Thats how I became a lawyer. That means I am better than you.

Jack: Thats all the time I have now. Neocons, biblebashers, and soccermoms. We must rejoice and destroy the empire that is Rockstar Games. ZEIG HEIL!


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LocoCaesar_IV
post Mar 21 2005, 06:01 AM
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Lil-Ski
post Mar 21 2005, 06:01 AM
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Guest_Randomly-Insane_*
post Mar 21 2005, 06:02 AM
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XD laugh.gif

*waits for lawsuit*
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OptimumPx
post Mar 21 2005, 06:02 AM
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ZEIG HEIL!


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If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
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Guest_Mr. Nice_*
post Mar 21 2005, 06:04 AM
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Good shit. Could have been better, but good shit never the less. I emailed Whacko Jacko a few weeks ago and his responses were almost exactly like that.
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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 06:08 AM
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WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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LocoCaesar_IV
post Mar 21 2005, 06:09 AM
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QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

OMG!How did you find out?!
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Guest_Mr. Nice_*
post Mar 21 2005, 06:10 AM
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QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 07:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

No, your sandwich is simply aroused.
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Young Escobar
post Mar 21 2005, 06:12 AM
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ROFL


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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 06:13 AM
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QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:09 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

OMG!How did you find out?!

Taht was you?

Okay, now I don't know who to believe. You, or the long haired guy outs side my window grinning at me.


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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Pitbull
post Mar 21 2005, 06:14 AM
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laugh.gif


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LocoCaesar_IV
post Mar 21 2005, 06:14 AM
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QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:13 AM)
QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:09 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

OMG!How did you find out?!

Taht was you?

Okay, now I don't know who to believe. You, or the long haired guy outs side my window grinning at me.

Ignore them!They are figments of your imagination,and nothing more!
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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 06:16 AM
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QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:14 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:13 AM)
QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:09 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

OMG!How did you find out?!

Taht was you?

Okay, now I don't know who to believe. You, or the long haired guy outs side my window grinning at me.

Ignore them!They are figments of your imagination,and nothing more!

But they smell funny, and they taste like burning. [/ralph]


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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LocoCaesar_IV
post Mar 21 2005, 06:16 AM
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QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:16 AM)
QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:14 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:13 AM)
QUOTE (LocoCaesar_IV @ Mar 21 2005, 07:09 PM)
QUOTE (kaftka @ Mar 21 2005, 12:08 AM)
WTF!?

My sandwich has some red things on it.


Is someone trying to poison me?

OMG!How did you find out?!

Taht was you?

Okay, now I don't know who to believe. You, or the long haired guy outs side my window grinning at me.

Ignore them!They are figments of your imagination,and nothing more!

But they smell funny, and they taste like burning. [/ralph]

All in your head!
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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 06:18 AM
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Stupid brain.


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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LocoCaesar_IV
post Mar 21 2005, 06:18 AM
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You must get rid of it.
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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 06:20 AM
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how?

All I have is this water balloon and a fishing line.


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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The_Owlcat
post Mar 21 2005, 07:48 AM
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rotflcopter


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kaftka
post Mar 21 2005, 07:50 AM
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LOLLLOLOLLOLOLMAO!!!!1!!!



U R TEH N00B CUZ I SPEK IN CAPS LOEZ J/KS PLZ DNT SUE.


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The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when kaftka punched himself in the face.
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