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> Naughty Bear
PabloHoneyOle
post Jul 16 2010, 03:14 PM
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QUOTE (asthenia @ Jul 15 2010, 11:12 AM) *
I heard Naughty Bear sucks massive dick, and I've seen gameplay vids that I think look fucking awful, but I still really want to play it.

I've been watching this game for a long time. The sheer concept of it made me tingle inside. A scorned teddy bear (which ironically looks identical to my childhood teddy bear) is shunned by teddy bear society and goes on a murderous rampage to exact his revenge. As the trailers began to roll out, especially the ones with the Alien/Blair Witch/Jaws spoofs, I got even more and more excited about the game. I promised myself I wouldn't pick this up on release day, even though I wanted the Friday the 13th slasher outfit you got from preordering AND/OR K-mart was selling it for $35 on release day.

I ended up picking up Naughty Bear this week through a trade at CAG. I had read the shitty reviews; I had heard about the freezes and bugs; but I had been waiting for this game for awhile and I went ahead and decided to get it. The kid who traded with me had only played the first level (I could tell by looking at his Xbox Gamercard) and didn't even try to haggle me when trading it, so I knew he probably didn't care for it.

While I was waiting for it to arrive, I read a shitton of negative reviews, like horrible, terrible ones. Usually, I don't really pay attention to reviews, but all the negative shit being said was getting to me. Plus, I kept reading about lots of freezing issues, even with the update that 505 games had put out. I have a newer 360 and I think that I am God, so I was hoping the freezing wouldn't affect me.

I got the game the next day and popped it in. I read through the ingame instruction manual to get a heads up for how shit works as far as the combo system and everything works. The premise is great - you control Naughty, a bear who is denied an invitation to another bear's birthday party, even after making a special present for him. After being shunned, the narrator - who is straight out of a children's afternoon program convinces Naughty to destroy the present and punish the other bears for humiliating him.

For each main level, there are certain objectives that have to be met before continuing on to the next level. The first objective is to punish a certain bear (the one wearing a hat), secondly, reach a certain number of Naughty Points and there is usually an optional objective to destroy a certain number of items (gifts, badges, birds, etc.) - all which yield Naughty Points. I'll skip the explanation of the optional objectives as they are pretty self explanatory and really just have you destroy shit by smashing it, shooting it or throwing it in the fire/toilet.

Naughty Points are earned for just about everything naughty that Naughty does. Points decrease with each repeat action (example: Smash some balloons and you get 500 NP, smash more and you get 450, 400, 350, etc.) so it helps to mix things up and use different weapons and strategies for killing/maiming the other Bears. There is also a combo system in place that multiplies with each bit of naughtiness completed and slowly depletes when mayhem isn't be caused. There is a lot of strategy involved with accumulating Naughty Points. It's easy to go in and just kill the bears with hack and slash and break all their shit, but when you get creative, that's when the Naughty Points come rolling in. There are bronze, silver, gold and platinum trophies to be unlocked for each level by accumulating shittons of Naughty Points.

The main objective of the game is to exact revenge on Naughty's trespassers. I've only gotten through the first couple of levels, but each Bear has wronged Naughty or wants him removed from the island where the Bears live. Each level finds a group of bears getting ready for an event (I've seen a party and an election so far) and it's up to Naughty to exterminate them. Naughty can hide in the wooded areas in a stealth mode (branches in front of his face) and creep around the small Bear community to stalk the residents and plan their impending doom.

At his disposal are a bunch of weapons lying around, bear traps, land mines and a bunch of context-sensual areas that can be used to exact revenge on the Bears. The weapons range from knives to axes to guns to legs of beef and each features an ultra-kill option that features an execution animation (or two) that involves murdering a bear. They are fairly gruesome executions, comparable with Manhunt or the Punisher games. Naughty can also sabotage just about everything in the Bear's homes, including televisions, toilets and ovens - and when a Bear comes to fix it, Naughty can initiate a context-sensative kill with that item, ie. drowning them in the toilet or smashing their head in the oven. The execution moves and context sensual kills are known as Ultra-Kills and yield more Naughty Points. Bear traps and landmines can be used to injure the Bears and slow them down, or you can execute an Ultra-Kill (or scare) while they are trapped.

If you're not feeling so murderous, you can simply scare the Bears to death. Scattered around the map are closets and cupboards that Naughty can hide in and jump out of to scare the other Bears. Bears that have become startled, trapped in traps or that are distracted by fixing something can also be Ultra-Scared, and driven to insanity to the point they will kill themselves or their head explodes. Again, more Naughty Points for the Ultra-Scare, but you also get points for scaring the Bears when they see a dead Bear or hear a Bear screaming for help from a trap.

Anyway, that is pretty much the premise of the game. For each level of the game, their are sub-levels with different objectives than the main level - for instance, your objective may be just to kill all the bears or to kill the bears without being seen, etc. Basically a spin on the original level. Each requires a different strategy and provides an opportunity to whore more Naughty Points and trophies. With each trophy unlocked there is a new outfit unlocked - which provides additional benefits; more life/agililty/etc. and some have stealth and combat benefits as well.

I've only had one glitch since I got the game, it froze at the end of the first level, when going through the door to complete the level. I spent over 30 minutes figuring the game out and getting over a million Naughty Points and then it froze, had to reboot the 360 and got no credit for any of the points or for completing the level. I was fucking pissed. I even put the game on eBay before taking it off and deciding to give it another shot. I'm glad I did, haven't had anymore glitches and I've really started appreciating the game.

There are lots of things about this game that would annoy the casual gamer and cause them to hate this game. There isn't much variation in gameplay given to you, it's actually on you to get creative with carrying out the missions. The game can be very boring and tedious if you just kill, rinse, repeat. If you're a closet homicidal maniac, this game is perfect for you.

It reminds me of Smash TV, Manhunt, Hitman and Conker's Bad Fur Day all rolled up in a fat blunt and smoked straight to the head.
That's the best way to describe this game. If that appeals to you, light it up. If not, please don't.

This post has been edited by Stoic Person Eater: Jul 16 2010, 03:25 PM
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bOnEs
post Jul 16 2010, 04:17 PM
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yea, that DOES appeal to me... this game has been on my radar for months... seriously, i was going to rent this when i went to family video on tuesday but, the lone copy wasn't available... so i instead opted for my second choice, dragon age... now i kind of wish i would of only rented it for a couple days instead of 5 nights... i think i will call family video every day for the next week, asking if a copy is available to rent...

the thing i like most about the concept of this game is the fact that it unleashes your inner cereal killer biggrin.gif... who wouldn't love to sabotage a grill, only to shove another bears face into it and watch him engulf in flames? who wouldn't love to grab a golf club and use another bears head as the ball? who wouldn't want to sneak around the outside of a house in the bushes, watching the bears inside, waiting for the right moment to attack? or hide in a cupboard inside their house and scare the shit out of them? sign me up!!

i too read a shit-ton of reviews, hoping to find some good stuff amongst a lot of hate... and it seems that the repetitiveness, the glitches, and the camera angles are the main reasons for a low score... most reviews said that after an hour of playing, you've seen all there is to see... but, i am assuming that these reviewers are not unleashing their inner cereal killer... some say you literally sit in the bushes for ages, waiting for a bear to walk past your trap... well, duh... what did you expect? a bear to go out of his way, just to walk past your trap?? give me a break... some say the kill animations get old after you've seen it for the hundredth time... but, that just tells me that they are finding a weapon and using it throughout the entire level... where's the creativity??

i am totally renting this game as soon as i possibly can... there isn't one good review out there yet, if you read comments on a lot of the reviews, you hear of people saying how much fun they're having with naughty bear... that just goes to show you that reviewers care more about the technicality of the games, rather than the game itself... i'm sorry but, a few glitches, a troubling camera and replaying levels over and over doesn't turn me away at all... i am used to repetitiveness, for christs sake, i am a GTA fan... bad camera controls? i can't recall how many games i've played with shitty camera controls... it happens like 1 out of 4 times i play a new game... and glitches?? come on, my absolute favorite game of this generation is loaded with glitches, fallout 3... and another one of my favs, the saboteur, didn't get a final polish on the glitches due to the company being shut down... yet, that game kicked ass and the glitches were easy to overlook...

i'm sold on naughty bear, i am renting this very soon... or buying it if the price is right biggrin.gif...

This post has been edited by Ben Grundy Wilson: Jul 16 2010, 04:33 PM


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QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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PabloHoneyOle
post Jul 16 2010, 04:45 PM
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The price will definitely drop - I'd imagine you could snag one cheap off of eBay in the next month or so.

I meant to mention the Saboteur as a reference point, glad you did bones, you nailed it. It's got the same charm (and sadisticness) that made Saboteur great. Also the lack of positive press and appeal to the casual gamer, but for those dedicated enough, there is a lot of potential in this game.

Naughty Bear is not a game that I am going to beat in a month. It's not a game I am going to play every night, but when I do it's going to be fucking awesome.
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Massacre
post Jul 16 2010, 04:49 PM
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tl;dr, but I'll be getting this when the price drops. It's already cheap, isn't it? I couldn't imagine this would be a full $60 title.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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bOnEs
post Jul 16 2010, 05:15 PM
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retails for new at $50... i am seeing it used for $30-$40 right now...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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Massacre
post Jul 16 2010, 05:16 PM
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It'll hit $20 eventually. Maybe less for used.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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bOnEs
post Jul 16 2010, 05:35 PM
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i don't think i can wait another month to play this...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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Massacre
post Jul 16 2010, 05:43 PM
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I'm a bigger nerd than you, I can kill time with WoW.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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DuPz0r
post Jul 16 2010, 06:15 PM
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I just read that the game is really small, and it gets repetitive fast. It's basically one level composed of a few small areas. Like spyro or croc or some shit...

The game also crashes regularly, and the online play is almost un-playable due to connection issues.

This post has been edited by DuPz0r: Jul 16 2010, 06:17 PM


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bOnEs
post Jul 16 2010, 06:25 PM
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you play WoW?? wow, i didn't peg you as THAT big of a nerd, massacre...

this a great video, i am assuming it's gameplay from the first level... it gives you an idea of how to play the game, and what types of encounters there are, what kinds of kills you can pull off, the weapons available, and basically, the chaos that ensues around the island when your on a ramage...


This post has been edited by Ben Grundy Wilson: Jul 16 2010, 06:27 PM


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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Massacre
post Jul 16 2010, 06:38 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Grundy Wilson @ Jul 16 2010, 02:25 PM) *
you play WoW?? wow, i didn't peg you as THAT big of a nerd, massacre...

Just started. I like orcs. This game has orcs. Orcs. Orcs.

And I like RPG's more than most of you.


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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TreeFitty
post Jul 16 2010, 06:43 PM
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could be better but still pretty funny


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gta 5

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DuPz0r
post Jul 16 2010, 07:20 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Grundy Wilson @ Jul 16 2010, 07:25 PM) *
you play WoW?? wow, i didn't peg you as THAT big of a nerd, massacre...

this a great video, i am assuming it's gameplay from the first level... it gives you an idea of how to play the game, and what types of encounters there are, what kinds of kills you can pull off, the weapons available, and basically, the chaos that ensues around the island when your on a ramage...


Rofl, that voice over is terrible.


But seriously, what do you guys see in this game? I like the idea of evil bear/manhunt killing spree. But i could imagine it being done so much better by a different developer! This title looks half-cut, and needs a lot of polishing and much more content to catch my attention.


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asthenia
post Jul 16 2010, 07:36 PM
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I made Stoic type lots.

Also; video reviewers are obviously being cunts about this game. I watched one video review and he ruined the end. Awesome. Prick.


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DuPz0r
post Jul 16 2010, 07:58 PM
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QUOTE (asthenia @ Jul 16 2010, 08:36 PM) *
I made Stoic type lots.

Also; video reviewers are obviously being cunts about this game. I watched one video review and he ruined the end. Awesome. Prick.


Really? That's a bit harsh, I don't like the game myself, but a professional critic should know better than to do that. What a cunt.


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post Jul 16 2010, 08:32 PM
Post #16


doesn't play well with others...
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QUOTE (DuPz0r @ Jul 16 2010, 03:20 PM) *
Rofl, that voice over is terrible.


But seriously, what do you guys see in this game? I like the idea of evil bear/manhunt killing spree. But i could imagine it being done so much better by a different developer! This title looks half-cut, and needs a lot of polishing and much more content to catch my attention.

ok, so i am not going to convert any of you into naughty bear fans but yea, the game could of been done so much better by someone else, or maybe with a little more development time... but, the concept is still killer IMO... and who knows, maybe the developers think this game could warrant a sequel if they have ideas on how to completely improve the concept...


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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post Jul 16 2010, 09:59 PM
Post #17


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QUOTE (asthenia @ Jul 16 2010, 03:36 PM) *
Also; video reviewers are obviously being cunts about this game. I watched one video review and he ruined the end. Awesome. Prick.

Lemme guess. The bear kills the last bear, and the credits roll?


--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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post Jul 16 2010, 11:46 PM
Post #18


doesn't play well with others...
*********

Group: Staff
Posts: 2,316
Joined: 28-March 08
From: michigan...
Member No.: 38,893
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Xfire Identity: i said your mother!!



5 reasons why naughty bear isn't as bad as critics say it is...

* click here for story *


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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post Jul 17 2010, 12:33 AM
Post #19


Warlord of the Wastes.
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,141
Joined: 14-October 04
From: Leichenstadt, State of Massacre, in the Warlord Empire
Member No.: 2,470
XBL Gamertag: WarlordMassacre
PSN Name: Warlord_Massacre



Truthness. And their "cover" image is a great avatar.



--------------------
QUOTE (Darth Sexy @ Sep 12 2009, 03:43 AM) *
Massacre, you make me look like a rational, moral, kind person.
QUOTE (Marney1 @ Oct 26 2009, 01:22 PM) *
Massacre - What you've just posted is sick and disturbing...
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Jan 17 2010, 04:22 PM) *
When Massacre is around, everything is violated... Whether it likes it or not.
QUOTE (ViceMan @ Mar 6 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Whenever I think of "human resources" Massacre immediately springs to mind.


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bOnEs
post Jul 17 2010, 01:22 AM
Post #20


doesn't play well with others...
*********

Group: Staff
Posts: 2,316
Joined: 28-March 08
From: michigan...
Member No.: 38,893
XBL Gamertag: your mother...
PSN Name: artistadam
Xfire Identity: i said your mother!!



i hope they release that photo as an avatar in the playstation store... but, i am sure they won't since all avatars seem to be of exclusive game characters... it is pretty cool though... i like the box art, it's a parody of the shining...



This post has been edited by Ben Grundy Wilson: Jul 17 2010, 01:22 AM


--------------------



QUOTE (Massacre @ Mar 15 2011, 01:24 AM) *
Oh, good one. The "you're on the internet so you must have no life" insult isn't moronic or unoriginal at all. You must, without a doubt, be a very important member of society, not at all a waste of the already barely valuable gift of life.

As is the case for everyone who takes issue with people who make them sad on the internet, you are one of two kinds of people:

You are exactly what you claim I am, and that is a lonely, pathetic basement dweller. You life is spent eating eight pounds of junk food per day, masturbating to anything you find online that's even remotely feminine, and wishing you had good looks and social skills. You continue to live with your mother until she dies of a combination of lung cancer and liver failure brought on by the chain-smoking and heavy drinking she used to cope with what a failure you are. Your mother mercifully dead and free of the living embodiment of failure she regretfully thrust from her loins, the bills start to pile up and you, unemployed and unable to pay these bills (of course), lose the house and everything in it. Somehow even more of a failure than you already were, you wander from place to place eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in your own filth until you finally die of AIDS, which you contracted from a diseased whore you scrounged up enough money to pay for, so you could finally lose your virginity while at the same time pretending that your mother was back in your life.

Or:

You are the type who was an athlete in high school, who was genetically doomed to be an idiot but managed to finish school and even get a college scholarship because you were so good at a worthless children's game. You went off to college with a suitcase full of polo shirts and condoms, the polo shirts, because you're a douche, and the condoms to prevent you from impregnating the dim-witted young college girls whom you could never touch without the aid of Rohypnol, a drug you refer to as "roofies" because you can neither spell or pronounce Rohypnol. You scrape by with borderline D's for the next four years, and leave the campus to go out into the real world where your realize you're not intelligent or talented enough to do anything of value with your life. Misery and minimum wage ensues for thirty years, then you blow your brains out, and your corpse, alone and forgotten, is not discovered until the smell of rotting flesh seeps under your door and your bodily fluids finally soak through the floor of your studio apartment and into the room below you. Your body is cremated, the ashes scraped into a garbage bin because there was no one in your life who valued you enough to pay for a casket, funeral, or burial plot.

You're undoubtedly one of the two, otherwise you would have better things to do than complain about the theme of a forum that doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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