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> Make Me Laugh
post Feb 5 2009, 04:40 PM
Post #521

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A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds
a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of
her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen,
this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably
spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how he
nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had
any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you, too.'

This post has been edited by GLC: Feb 5 2009, 04:41 PM
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Full Metal Monke...
post Feb 26 2009, 09:20 AM
Post #522

Upstanding Citizen

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You know Nike are releasing a new line of trainers called 'Nikes for Dykes'.

They have 50% more tongue and are really easy to get off with one finger.

This post has been edited by Full Metal Monkey: Feb 26 2009, 09:20 AM

Stunt Double for Nick Frost
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post Jul 2 2009, 09:10 PM
Post #523

Oh boy! Oberto! Penis! Bundt cake! D-O's Can

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From: Las Vegas, NV
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I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning... He ate a 12 year old weiner.

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post Sep 2 2009, 02:03 AM
Post #524

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[quote name='G~L~C' date='Jul 13 2008, 05:26 AM' post='1454386']
one day a man walked into a hotel.

"excuse me,"he said."have you got any empty rooms?"
"yes we do"said the woman,"we have one room left,though i must warn you many people have entered that room and left screaming.They say it is haunted by a ghost."
"yeah,right.i'll take a look. As the man entered the room he heard the ghost moan,"i'm gonna eat your arms,your legs,your head and your body!"The man ran away screaming.

A few days later another man came to the hotel.there was still only one room left and he was forced to stay in the haunted room.the woman tried to warn him,but he didn't listen.He opened the door........."IM GONNA EAT YOUR ARMS YOUR LEGS YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BODY!" the man ran away and never came back.

some jokes are so lame that they actually almost piss me off . like that one .

This post has been edited by LoonaTyk1: Sep 2 2009, 02:05 AM

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