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A Difficult Situation...

online Psyposted 3166 Days Agoviews 796 Viewscomments 16 Comments
Yeah, this is probably a bit too heavy for most of you Asylum dwellers, but I fancied getting it off my chest somewhere private. If you can even call this place private with a few thousand visitors a day. But anyway...

Basically I was with my girlfriend for 3 years, then we split up because we both kept having arguments and it wasn't working out. It was a mutual break up sort of thing, but then we still remained friends and were very close, pretty much seeing each other as we would if we were in a relationship.

But even though we were both technically single, we both felt like we were in a relationship and didn't try to get with anyone else or anything. But we still had a few arguments which made me think it wasn't going to work out, so I ended up finding someone else.

So I told my ex that I'd basically found someone else, and I was expecting her to be like "oh well, I'll find someone too", but she couldn't cos she still really liked me. But she stopped speaking to me after I got with someone else cos she couldn't bear the thought of me being with a different girl.

So anyway I've been with this other girl for close to a month now, and everything's gone really well. She's a nice girl, we get on really well and I have a good time with her. Plus all of her mates are cool too. But I still have feelings for my ex, so I emailed her to tell her that basically this new girl was just something I needed as a break from her, to see if my feelings came back or whatever. And I think they have.

So anyway I find out that my ex still REALLY likes me, a lot. And I still like her a lot too, but this new girl has done nothing wrong and I find it extremely hard to break up with someone who hasn't done anything wrong to me. I have a good time every time I'm with her.

You'd think it's a good situation to be in, having 2 girls wanting to be with you, but it fucking sucks. I don't really want to break up with my new girl because she doesn't deserve to be hurt, and she likes me a lot. But at the same time, I still have strong feelings for my ex, and she's getting hurt all of the time I'm not with her.

So I dunno what to do. I've told my ex I need time to decide what is best for me but I'm literally stuck 50/50 between both of them.

Advice? There's probably not many people been in this situation, but I'm just completely stuck and it sucks.

Oh yeah, and I'm not a completely shallow person, so looks don't factor into it completely for me, but they're both attractive girls...

Current GF (on the right)

But yeah, looks aren't a major factor. I know my ex is probably better looking but it was the arguments we had and stuff that spoiled that relationship. But I think we both think things would be better this time...

Anyway, advice me up, you cocks.
online Qdeathstaractivity 3166 Days Ago
Quality Problem Psy... a difficult choice deciding between two hot girlies.

Anyway, i say move on and stick with number two biggrin.gif
online Tranqueactivity 3166 Days Ago
I would reccomend an analysis. The problem that broke you and your original girlfriend up. Is it resolved? Did you talk about it and come to a resolution? If you feel it won't be a problem and you really do love her, I'd go back.

If you think its an issue that might recur incessantly until another breakup happens, or if you just don't see yourself in a long term relationship with her and happy, then I'd break up for the new girl if the new girl seems like long term relationship material.

It sounds selfish but you need to do whats best for you. Whoever you choose you need to let the other go because it will just hurt the girl more and more as she becomes more and more attached to the prospect of staying with you for the long term.

As for which is hotter, I'm not a quality judge on that kind of thing tongue.gif
online Psyactivity 3166 Days Ago
The problem that broke up me and my original girlfriend was just both of our moods. Getting annoyed at each other over something stupid and turning what had been a nice day together into feeling shit. We both know what we did wrong, like not being honest enough with each other about our problems etc, but there's really no way of knowing if that problem is solved without getting back in a long term relationship and finding out over time.

When I got with the new girl I never thought it was going to be long term, but she's a really nice girl and I'm enjoying being with her, even if it does only last a few months.

Whereas with my ex, when we were together and happy, I could see that being properly long term...

I don't even know what's best for me. That's the problem. Back in the good old days a year or so ago, I was immensely happy with my ex, then the arguments and fall outs got more frequent. Now I'm happy being with the new girl but we haven't been together long enough to know how far the relationship could go.

The problem being my ex is dying to get back together with me and she can't bare waiting much longer. I think for me the best thing would be to give some more time to my new girlfriend and see what happens. But I think if it's a month or something, my ex will be too heartbroken and will probably start moving on from me so I'll be stuck with the new girl then.

It's a lose/lose situation really doh (12).gif.
online TreeFittyactivity 3166 Days Ago
No one said the life of a pimp was easy. tongue.gif

other asylum answers aside....

Indeed, if you guys argued into a breakup once, it might happen again. You said you kept on arguing even after so that is not a good sign. And this new girl is nice and you have a good time with her.

I say ride it out with this new girl and see where it goes. To use a cliche quote: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours".
online Tranqueactivity 3166 Days Ago
Hm its tricky, but I spose you need to judge whether its a typical "7 year itch" which is just a natural phase of animosity between two people after a relationship hits a mark. It normally goes away after awhile. If you think that its a major malfunction in the relationship something you truly can't overcome with talking and comprimise then I suppose its only right to give yourself time to analyze what it truly is.

I suggest you do what you say and stay with the other girl for a month, but don't draw her in if you begin to have a real resurgence of feelings. Don't ignore her but just be a bit stand off-ish

If you really want someone for the longterm just think of two things: Who will stay beside you in shitty times? Who would make a good wife someday, and respect you for who you are? Who can you tell anything to or who do you think you could completely open up to?
online Psyactivity 3166 Days Ago
Well from experience I know my ex basically fits into all of the categories you mentioned. She would make a good wife, she would stick by me and I could talk to her about literally anything. I just don't know that about the new girl yet because we've only been together 3 weeks or so. But I think I'm just going to explain the situation to the new girl tomorrow and see what she says. Maybe she's not as crazy about me as I think she is and she'd be happy just being friends...

But otherwise I think the solution is just to give it another few weeks of dating the new girl and see how it goes. I had always intended to get back with my ex after dating someone else, I just didn't think I'd get on so well with her and have such a difficult decision to break up with her when she's done nothing wrong at all...

I'll keep you updated, but cheers for the advice and thoughts smile.gif
online Tranqueactivity 3165 Days Ago
Alright I'll keep my eye open tongue.gif
online TheAnalogKid2112activity 3158 Days Ago
Since I'm too lazy to type up a good, advice-filled response, I'll just say this: Your ex is HOT!!!!!!!!!!
online Psyactivity 3158 Days Ago
Yeah. I've decided I'm getting back with her in the next few weeks. She's just generally a better girlfriend than the other one, plus she is insanely hot smile.gif
online Tranqueactivity 3147 Days Ago
I hope things are going well for you.
online demonactivity 3040 Days Ago
This blog entry is so old that I won't comment on the problem. I just hope it worked out to the best of all three of you.

What I really wanna say is, holy **** what a pretty face on the first girl! All of her looks hot. cool.gif
online Psyactivity 3032 Days Ago
Well, I guess this whole situation is finished now. I ended up breaking up with my 'new' girlfriend to get back with my ex, and we were hanging out and seeing each other for a few months, but never officially got back together. Then since Christmas she's decided she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore and she doesn't want to get back together at all.

So I pretty much finished the other girl for no reason now...

Pretty shit really, but oh well. My ex still wants to be friends, so I'll see what happens, but I'm back on the market now. If I find someone new then I won't be breaking up with them to get with an ex ever again.

Pretty cool how you learn from every choice you make in life.

I'm still pretty hurt though because I was really starting to like my ex all over again, and I actually wanted to get back with her (had some romantic shit planned for Valentines weekend when I was going to ask her out again), but she says her feelings are completely gone towards me so there's not much I can do.
online TreeFittyactivity 3032 Days Ago
Yeah that's life sometimes. But shit like that keeps it interesting IMO. Knowledge for next time, cliché saying, etc etc

so how bout them ex-nudez? drool.giffap.gif
online Psyactivity 3032 Days Ago
Hah no one's getting them. Ever.
online deadactivity 3032 Days Ago
Get back with your ex.
online demonactivity 3031 Days Ago
I'm sorry to hear it. But that's life... sometimes it sucks too much.
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